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Trying to remember that there is always a reason, always something that makes you smile during the day- recognizing the event, person or situation that made you smile will make your day seem that much better.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

From both of us...

May this holiday season be full of love, laughter and lots of smiles to all of you today..
The angels that watch over  us are closer than ever today,
I feel the presence of those who have passed, looking down on us and toasting with us.
Whether you are traveling, celebrating at home or choosing not to celebrate at all,
know that you are all in my hearts and I am sending blessings of the season to all of you.
Hugs and lots of love!

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Just a few more days...

Until this holiday season is over...Bah Humbug...

Not really...
It has been a crazy week again and for some reason the world seems to be tilted on it's axis.
I don't know if I am still taking in the events of last Friday...or maybe it's been the endless news coverage.  I honestly don't know how people in that town don't just scream at the media.  It is not necessary to know every detail of the grieving process.  Only my opinion.  I am surprised on Monday when I went into work because there were a lot of people talking about it.  I remember saying that it was different than the other mass shootings out there.  When Columbine happened, I remember.  We were in college and it happened on a friend's 21st birthday.  The world shifted that day because it was the first time school didn't feel safe.  I think that Friday's murders tilted the axis of the world a bit more because of how young the children are.  Not that I am saying that any of the mass murders are okay or even explainable but this one is a whole new level of horror.

We had our new furnace installed this week.  This is very exciting.  i am sitting in the living room tonight and it is a toasty 65 degrees in here...which is really nice.  It was a process getting the thing installed.  I learned a lot about myself in the process.  Some of you may have seen my status update on facebook the other day: Some people have endless patience.  Some people let everything role off their backs.  I with my darling husband would realize that I am not some people.
It is a very true statement and there were more than a few times that I wished I had insisted that he stay home earlier and just gone to work.
I learned that I should not be the one to deal with contractors.  the men who installed the furnace were very nice.  I, however, do not generally talk in abstract and like the detail parts of things.  The guy who was in charge was not so keen on the details.  I think at one point I could have been speaking French and he would have understood me better.
I learned that you can hear everything when they take the duct work off.  Contractors have potty mouths.  Now, I am not saying that everything that comes out of my mouth is sparkling and clean but this was a lot even for me.
I also learned that if you hit something with a hammer it will eventually fit.  I heard that statement several times while I was working but never did go downstairs to investigate.

It's the end of the year....which means work is a little bit insane.  People wanting to get started January 1st means a lot of cards need to go out between now and next week.  I am not complaining at all, but it is a lot of work and the pace is picking up.  not to mention the skeleton crew that's on next week...it should be interesting.

I feel like I am forgetting something....
Oh, right.
There were presents to wrap, packages to mail, gifts to purchase, packing to do and cookies to make.
Packages got mailed thanks to my fabulous hubby.
I just finished wrapping for our Christmas here.
I still need stocking stuff for my brother and his boyfriend, a couple of little things for my dad, something (no idea what) for my mom, and a gift card for my sister.
All of the kids presents were shipped to my mom's so those will all need to be wrapped when we get there.
I scrapped the Christmas cookies simply because I couldn't find a day to make them.  Maybe we will make up a couple of batches at my mom's.
There's packing to finish, a day of work and a plane to catch.
And a whole lot of Christmas spirit that is in here somewhere that I think will show up when I finally sit down long enough to let it catch up with me.
The holidays are always a whirlwind and it's tough not to get caught up in all of it...but tonight I send love and Christmas wishes on the back of the stars to all of you...

Friday, December 14, 2012

Tragic

‎"When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." To this day, especially in times of "disaster," I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers -- so many caring people in this world." - Mr Rogers

Tragedy is the only word for it.
The news of today's event spread like wildfire.
Reporters reporting "news" without fact checking,
Parents waiting with tears streaming down their faces,
most who's children came running out, their innocence shattered and parents who need to put the pieces together and explain that monsters don't always live under the bed or in the closet.
Parents who, as numbers dwindled, faced a fear of never holding their child again, never kissing another skinned knee, never calming a bad dream.
Parents who are faced with the fact that their child is part of a "crime scene", who now know that they will never again hug their child.
Today is about many things.
This is about children who had their lives senselessly extinguished today.
this is about the adults whose lives ended, most in an attempt to save children who they had in their care.
This is about the places where a child should be able to feel safe.
Today's tragic events are not about the reporters who got the story out first, with many inaccuracies.
Today's tragic events are not about gun control
Today's tragic events are not about politics.
Today's events are about 27 individuals who lost their lives in a place they thought was safe.
Take a moment,
hug your kids a bit tighter,
smile at a stranger,
take a deep breath.
Say a prayer,
send thoughts,
and take a minute to remember those who were lost today,
remember those families who will remember this day as one where they lost a loved one,
those children who won't be able to feel the magic of Christmas,
Those parents whose arms are empty tonight.
Tears fall from many today,
through our tears, a sign of solidarity,
A promise to those poor young children
That we each need to make to make the world a safer place, a better place, a place where senseless violence and hatred knows no place.
A promise to hug tighter, love every day and to stand together with those around us and those far away, and to cherish each other.

Love and hugs out to each of you tonight.


Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Checking In

I was reading through my blog roll and realized that I haven't posted in twelve days...
So waht has been going on here...
A whole lot of holiday prep.
We are traveling for the entire holiday week so I am trying to make sure that things are done for the multiple Christmases that we do. Working on this still.
No tree this year, we are just going to be gone for too long....
I did manage to get all of the presents wrapped that I have and am waiting ofr a few more boxes to come in.
It's just little stuff now to pick up.
The furnace guy is coming to install the new furnace next week....I am pretty excited.
Less excited that the oil company came and delivered 100 gallons of oil yesterday that we can't burn through...so I am trying to deal with getting rid of that.
Work is good.,..busy since the last week and a half I will be off, but it's going well.  Lots of stuff falling into place.
Smiles abound and the magic of Christmas is in the air...I love this time of year.
I will be happy when I am able to stop for five minutes and enjoy it :)
Like many, one of my goals for the new year is to start eating healthier.  It's going okay....
Hubby is sick...we think he has a kidney stone..we should find out today.  He is incredibly uncomfortable at the moment which sucks...but hopefully with the pain meds he got last night he starts to feel better soon.

I guess that's it for right now.  I hope that you are all doing well.  Sending hugs and love on the back of the chilly winter air to each of you!!

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Day 28

Today is another very special person's birthday.
Today my nephew turns six.
My sister's oldest boy was born six years ago.
He is an inquisitive child
He likes to get his own way
He is sweet and cuddly
He has been through a lot in his short life.
He was born with a peanut and egg allergy.
He had to watch everything he ate.
He was a little boy who never ate a peanut butter and fluff sandwich,
Who learned to ask before he put anything in his mouth.
And yet, he smiled.
He is the kid that when we learned he outgrew the allergies had his first peanut butter cup and said, I don't really like this.
He loved his first donut from dunkin donuts.
Sent me a picture saying that Boston Cremes were his favorite too.
I remember the first time I held him.
We weren't there when he was born and I kept saying I wasn't going to go down because we would be there for Christmas.  I did...and he snuggled into my arms and held my finger in his little hand and I felt  my heart get captured by another child.
He is stuck in the middle, as he likes to say, between an older sister and a younger brother.
He and hubby have a special bond, hubby is HIS uncle meatball...and no one elses..
I hope you have an awesome birthday today buddy.
We have watched you grow, albeit from afar, but can't wait to see where the rest of your journey takes you!!

Hugs and love tonight!

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Day 26

It's the end of the month again.
Another week to scrimp and pinch and try to pull goal out of somewhere.
The frenetic energy of the sales floor.
The encouragement of one another.
Getting back in the routine.
Having enough emails to keep you busy so that when you look up wondering why you are so hungry and realize it is 12:30 and you wonder where the morning went.
A quick catch up with everyone about the holiday.
An email from a partner asking first how your holiday was and then for whatever they needed.
To know, as you are working on your self evaluation, that you killed it this year.
I am grateful for my job.
I am grateful that I am good at my job.
I am grateful for the work ethic that my father ingrained in my at an early age.

Day 25

Today, I am grateful for my own bed.
We had a lovely visit with the inlaws.
The kids are fabulous, although I swear they grow in feet instead of inches right now.
Their adorable faces,
Auntie can we
Auntie will you
Auntie I love you
Auntie come see
The commotion of a holiday
the people
the teamwork needed to put out a spread.
The moments of insane laughter while the adults are playing a game.
The realization that we need to be quiet so that we don't wake the kids.
The late nights and early mornings.
The morning coffee conversations and the evening conversations just before bed.
It is all great.
But that moment of quiet,
when you first walk into your house after being away.
That very first moment that you smell all the familiar smells of your house.
The shower in your own shower with that special rainfall shower head that was a must have and you crave when you go else where.
The clean sheets you tuck into that you had the fore thought to change before you left.
Snuggling up to my hubby who slept in a separate twin bed for five nights.
Feeling the kitties snuggle in next to you and start purring.
The feeling of being home.
I am grateful for all of the insanity that accompanies a trip, but I am grateful for home tonight.

Day 24

We braved the stores on the Saturday after Thanksgiving
Try this one on,
Isn't this hat great,
what can we get for this person,
how about these
loads of colors,
neon, vivid colors are apparently all the rage.
We didn't go crazy, although we did get a lot of shopping done.
The stores were amazingly calm.
But more importantly, we all got along.
Inlaws, the family that come along with the one you love.
Sometimes they are good,
sometimes not so good.
My relationship with my mother in law has at times been civil at best and down right toxic at worst.
We are settling into a routine, which is nice.
This shopping trip was good,
not a word spoken about too much,
or what was spent.
Just a couple of hours out with the girls.
I am grateful for the peace that has settled over us...I am not sure how long it will last, but for now, I will relish it.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Day 30

This has been an interesting month,
coming up with one thing a day that I am grateful for.
there are so many things in my life that I am truly blessed and in awe of every single day.
Today, on this last day of November,
there is one thing that I always remember.
Life is not a guarantee.
There have been many twists and turns on this journey and not so many years ago I learned that there is nothing that promises that you will be here tomorrow.
A diagnosis of a brain tumor,
the medicine that was administered,
the many appointments that held disappointing news.
At an age where so many of my friends were finding their way,
starting new families,
I was struggling to stay alive.
I struggle, fought, screamed, cried and made bargains with a higher power I wasn't even sure existed.
I hid the darkest thoughts from all those around me because if I let it show, then it was real.
I found an online community that had people who were going through the same thing and I found my voice.
I found others who were fighting just as hard,
some who won their fights,
others who did not.
I remember all their names.
We cried together,
shared our hopes and dreams along with our deepest fears.
I learned from that time in my life that you can't take anything for granted.
Although I am sure I would have learned many different life lessons if it hadn't been the hand that I was dealt, part of me is grateful that it was.
I learned that I was a strong woman.
I learned that you need to fight for everything you want.
I learned that being stubborn may not be the most attractive attribute, but sometimes it is all that can get you through.
I learned that you need to love every day.
you need to speak that love to those around you because there will come a time when you are unable.
I learned that it's okay to ask for help.  There are times when the help of others lets you reserve your energy for the important fight.
I learned that there are people who won't know what to say or how to act, and sometimes they are the people that you want to rely on the most.
I learned to forgive.  Forgive those perceived wrongs, forgive those who may not always live up to your expectations.
I learned that it's not always going to be the way you want it to be.  If life was perfect and you  had the house with the white picket fence, the wonderful job and the picture perfect family it might be boring.
For me, although the fight was hell and there were many times that giving up seemed to be the only option, the people who surrounded me with love and support were what kept me standing.  They made me fight for one more day.
The day that I looked a doctor in the eye and told him that while I valued his opinion but I was determined to prove him wrong was one that I will look back on with pride and a little bit of awe.
I am grateful for the journey that I have traveled so far and am grateful for every single day that I can take one more step down that path.
I don't know what life has in store for me or those that I care about, but I know that they are there cheering me on, holding me up and walking with me.
I am grateful for who experience has made me and for every single opportunity that comes my way.

Hugs and love to you all tonight!

Day 23

black friday...
A day when many were out in the stores...
A day when TV's were fought over,
the hottest toys pulled off the shelf,
people got mad at others for taking their parking space,
there were deals to be had and many people who went out to get them.
Not us.
We stayed snuggled in bed until the perfectly reasonable hour of 7:30am, when two munchkins stood at the doorway and asked if we were every going to get up.
We played games,
stayed in comfy clothes,
and we laughed.
A lot.
We enjoyed the beautiful weather and just hung out.
Basketball, pig, football.
On that day, I was grateful for unseasonably warm weather that allowed us all to burn off the meal that we had eaten the day before and enjoy just hanging out.
We may have missed out on a deal or two at the stores,
but the day was full of laughter, smiles and lots of love.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Day 29

Forgive me if these are a bit out of order.
I had every intention of posting whilst we were away, but we were too busy with the kiddos.
So over the next few days, you will be caught up on what I was grateful for on each of those days.

It is quiet here tonight.
The moon was full last night and I took a moment, in the freezing cold, to sit outside and soak in the moon rays.
It has been a tough couple of days around here.
Hubby is doing okay...
He is upset and hurting...and there is nothing I can say or do to make him feel better.
She was truly his cat.  He adopted her and they had their routines in the morning and at night.  I know he is missing her and is feeling guilty.  All I can do is hope for peace for him because I know that this will haunt him for a long time.

I am starting to see all kinds of Christmas decorations pop up on my way home from work.  They make me smile.  They remind me of when I was younger and my parents would pile all of us in the car and we would drive around for hours looking at the Christmas decorations.  When we would go out and pick out a Christmas tree and spend the afternoon decorating it and remembering where the ornaments came from.  Remembering cooking in the kitchen with my mother.  Christmas cookies galore for everyone because that was better than finding the perfect gift.
I find myself grateful tonight for the simpler times.
I love the magic of the holiday season.
I love the fact that people reach out more during the holiday season than they do the entire rest of the year.
I love the sparkle in a child's eye when they see Santa for the first time.
I love the chills that I get when you hear Christmas music sang by a church choir for the first time in the season.
I love the parties that get everyone together and celebrating.
I am grateful all year, but this time of year especially, for being able to see the good in life, the good in people and to be surrounded by so many people who care about others.

love and hugs.

Day 22

how big's the turkey?
Someone google how long it needs to be cooked.
We have to get up at what time?
What time are we eating?
Who's gonna call Nan and tell her to be here by noon?
How many times can we trip over each other in the kitchen?
What can I help with?
Auntie, teach my how to peel carrots.
Honey, can you cut up onions?
Here, go set the table?
Behind you.
Got it.
All set.
Everybody in the dining room.
Pass the turkey
Pass your plate, the container's hot
Pass to your right, no pass to the left.
No skipping people to get something faster.
I want apple pie
I want pumpkin
Nanny is there any chocolate pie.
It's time for football.
I'll do the dishes
It's time for another glass of wine
Who wants to play cards?
Make sure you take leftovers with you.
There were lots of smiles...lots to be thankful for...lots to soak in.
There was a lot of noise, a bit of yelling and many smiles throughout the day.
At the end of the day, when I think I ate more in one day than I did all week, I looked around at all of us, sacked out on couches, sitting on laps, sitting in recliners watching the home town team play football, grateful for the day.  Grateful for living in the moment.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Sad night tonight

I have a bunch of posts to write about this weekend....
but tonight, I am going to ask that you send some positive thoughts this way..
We had to put down the outside cat tonight.
She is one that sort of came with the house...as in she was here before we were...
We have fed her and taken her to the vet and let her inside when it was cold out.
It's very sad...
Hubby was pulling up the driveway tonight and she ran in front of the truck..
He couldn't stop in time...
He is...well quite frankly...a mess.
There is nothing that can be said that will make it better..
but maybe if all my blog friends can send out some positive thoughts, his heart might start to heal..
I promise a more upbeat post tomorrow.
This was her after we shaved her last summer.
RIP Jasmine.



Love and hugs to you all tonight!!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Day 21

My phone blinks,
text message.
Good Morning.
text back Good Morning how are you?
Back and forth...
The kids are excited...they were counting on the calendar how many days you will be here.
I can't wait to see them.
the text messages go on for about an hour...or until I get motivated to go and get the stuff done that needs to get done.
Packing
Putting laundry away
Taking care of the cats
 Prepping some apps for tomorrow.
But tonight, we will leave and head the two hours north.
When we get there we will have two very excited, and probably very tired kids who will throw themselves in our arms excited that we will be there.
They will fall asleep, most likely on the couch next to us..
we will settle in for the night, have a glass or two of bubbly..
Do some prep for the big feast tomorrow..
fall into a rhythm of being together....
needing to avoid the pit falls of family drama..
I am grateful for my extended family..
It hasn't always been easy with them, but I don't know what I would do without them in my life.

Day 20

Rush, rush, rush.
Pick up the phone,
Answer an email
Can you...
Would you..
I need...
I want...
Yesterday..
Today...
Why can't you..
Why won't you...
Phone ringing
Emails dinging
Instant messages
Time out
Take a breath.
Okay right back at it..
Five o'clock...five thirty..
Finally..
Pack it up.
Yep, the computer comes home
Yep I will check it tomorrow
Yep I will make sure to be on top of things over the weekend.
But the blessed silence of knowing it will be on my time, my way.
I am grateful for my job and all it provides for us.
I enjoy the people I work with, both at the office and those out in the field.
I work hard...sometimes forget to play just as hard.
But today, as I walk out of the building, I am grateful for a five day weekend...

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Day 19

I am really not so good at these every day posts...
but this one is special.
My best friend's dad is an amazing person...
He was the only other one that I have ever called dad..
There were lots of other "moms" but only one other dad.
He was always that other person that we could go to..
He would laugh with us..
Pick us up from the movies and make sure that none of the guys were "making moves".
He would come down and listen to us giggle and refer to us as young ladies..
He also has Parkinson's.
He's been sick as long as I have known Stef..
He has gotten progressively worse as is the disease that steals his ability to control his movements.
Yesterday, he underwent a surgery.
A brain surgery that attached leads to parts of his brain and will lead to a decrease in his shaking and rigidity.
Scary surgery, but something he was looking forward to..
He's doing well, he will go in for more surgery next week to attach the stimulators.
Last night, when I talked with Stefanie, he was seeing a decrease in the shaking already and was very positive about the outcome.
Medical progress and treatments that are being used today are amazing.
To think that this man, that I admire and love very much, will be able to move without shaking, eat noodles without them falling off a spoon and be able to move more freely makes me grateful for all the medical advances today..

Monday, November 19, 2012

Day 17 and 18

I am grateful for the weekends..
Days that stretch in front of us to cram all the stuff that we don't get done during the week..
This weekend included a date night with hubby to the movies
And lots of cleaning...
I want to be able to get a christmas tree and decorate when we get home from the holiday this weekend so a deep clean of the house was needed.
Didn't quite get it all done, but we made a really good dent.
Two short days at work this week and then we are headed north for the holiday.
Hope you are all doing well..
Hugs and lots of love to you all

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Day 16

Today, I am grateful for technology..
The technology that allows us to be in touch with friends, family and loved ones.
The technology that allows us to see others even though they are far away.
The ability to send a quick message to say hello..or I love you.
I don't know what we would do without it...
So far away and I miss being with them every day..
But through facebook, emails, telephone calls and text messages, they seem a bit closer.
A quick text or an hour long conversation, the modern technology keeps me connected..and allows me to be in tough with the people that are most important to me.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Day 15

Again...a day late..dollar short :)
Today..I am grateful for the people that I work with every day.
These people, with whom I think I spent more time with than anyone else.
These people who get my sense of humor
Who understand a bad day
Who I can laugh with
Who get the frustrated tears
Who will brainstorm with me
Share their knowledge
Give me another way to approach a tough conversation
Who will wordsmith an email for me
Who have been there, through both good and bad.
We celebrate each others successes and help pick up and regroup when something doesn't go so well.
Some of them fill the roles of mom,dad, sister and friends on a regular basis.
When you spend so much time with people, it is nice to have a positive relationship with those around you.
I have worked in places that you don't have that, and I am grateful that we click so well.

Day 14

A few days late...better late than never..
Today, I am grateful for the first nephew.
You were first one we waited holding our breath to hear that you arrived.
The first time I held you and you snuggled in and sighed that baby sigh of contentment, you captured my heart.
Coming home,
Baby clothes,
First steps,
First words,
The first to call me auntie.
We have watched you grow up over the last nine years..
Cheered you on from the sidelines of countless games,
Applauded in the gym at the first play in kindergarten.
Countless hugs, smiles, tears, laughter and love from you.
As you told me this weekend...its your last year in single digits.
You are growing up so damn fast that I feel like we blink our eyes and its your birthday again.
But for today, I am grateful to be part of your life and for all the lessons you teach me.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Day 13

Today, I am grateful for my brother...his snarky comments..his unrelenting drive...his complete commitment to who he is and his ability to never compromise that.
He was my baby brother growing up and I did what I could to protect him and make sure he never got hurt.  I lost him for a while when he was trying to come to terms with who he was.
But once he figured that out...he will never compromise it.
He makes me laugh and cry at the same time...
I am incredibly proud of him and everything he has done in his life...
My baby brother, who is now all grown up, has a fabulous path in front of him and I can't wait to see it unfold..

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Day 12

I am grateful for the angels that are walking beside me every day...
While I miss seeing you, hugging you and talking to you,
I know that you are helping to guide my path,
nudging when I need it
and sending me signs that you are still here.
I miss you and I love you all...
From facebook

Hugs to each of you today!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Day 11

Tonight...tonight I am grateful for a quiet house..
It was a great weekend with the kids and the birthday party and the general craziness...
But tonight it is quiet in my house as hubby is working up north for a few days...
Just me and the kitties...
And it is nice.

Tonight...i am grateful to all of my family and my friends who have served in the military.
there are no words to express how honored I am to know you,
how humbled I am for your sacrifice.
These men and women risk their lives to keep us safe,
I am grateful to them.

Tonight...I am grateful for the relationship that I have with my sister in law.
It has grown into a friendship and a sisterhood.
We laugh a lot..
We cry a little..
We have each others backs..
We talk (and text) a lot...
We have a ton of fun together...
And we know when the other needs space...
I am grateful for her.

I hope that you all had a wonderful day...hugs and love to you all!!

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Day 10

Today, I am thankful for a day of laughter, giggles, hugs and lots of smiles...
A few tears...but nothing that couldn't be hugged away...
It was an amazing day for a birthday football party!!

Friday, November 9, 2012

Day 8 and 9

Didn't post yesterday....was thankful to have a quiet night with hubby with no electronics distracting us..
Today I am thankful that we live close enough to two of my nephews that we can share in one of their birthday celebrations....he turns nine next week..
So we are headed north for the weekend..
Hugs and love to all of you..and special thoughts to those still dealing with the devastation of last week's storm...

Ps- anyone else having problems with blogger comments?  I am losing about half when I go to publish them....so if you have left a comment and it is not on here...I am sorry...I did try to post it..

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Day 7

Today, I am grateful for where I live.


I am grateful to live in the United States.

A place where so many people have opposite political views,

But are free to voice them.

A place where people can bitterly disagree on issues,

But can debate them in an open forum.

A place where, after a long, arduous and demanding election process,

We can pull together the day after to start to move forward in the direction to help make this country better.

But even more so than living in the United States,

I am grateful to live in Maine.

I have been known to say that I live here only because of my husband.

Today, I am grateful to call this place home.

Today, I am grateful to be able to call my brother and tell him that he can get married here.

Today, I am grateful to be able to experience the happiness with coworkers who have been together for 11 years in a committed relationship that they can finally start planning their wedding.

Today, I am grateful and proud to be the first state whose voters have decided to allow for marriage equality for all.

I am grateful to live in this country, in this state, at this time in our history.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Day 6

Perspective


Today I am grateful for perspective….

Looking back on your life, how will you choose to remember what has happened to you?

A man and a woman, rather advanced in their years, were sitting on a porch swing reminiscing about their life together.

The man says “ I am sorry that when we married, I didn’t have the money to buy you the ring you deserved”

The woman replies, while looking down at her finger that has worn the same ring for the last 54 years,

“The ring that you gave me the night you asked me to marry you is an expression of a love so pure and simple that nothing else can ever distract from it.”

The man says “I am sorry that we married in a quick ceremony before I shipped out and left you for two years. The letters I wrote can never replace the time I missed with you”

The woman replies “The ceremony was perfect and the money we saved by not having a big wedding allowed us to buy our first house. You went away to war and sent me love notes that I have read and reread all my life, that I will be able to pass down to our children and grandchildren so they know what real love is.”

The man says “ I am sorry for the loss of our oldest son. It caused you great heart break.”

The woman says “Although we didn’t get to hold him in our arms for very long, we were able to experience firsts with him: the first joy of knowing we were pregnant, the first time you ever felt that unconditional love for another human, the first laugh, the first smile. We will meet him again and be able to tell him that he made us better parents to his sisters because we were able to love them differently having experienced his loss”.

The man says “ I am sorry for working so much, I left you home to deal with the kids, the house and all the other daily dredges of life. I don’t feel like I was there for you when I needed to be”

The woman says “ You provided a house that I made a home, you provided food that turned into memories around the dinner table with you and the children. You may have been away, but you were always here when we needed you.”

The man says “Mostly, I am sorry that this time in our lives, when we are supposed to be together enjoying our retirement and all that hard work, I am sorry that I got sick and can’t do that with you.”

The woman says “Your sickness, like everything else in our lives, we will get through together. You might apologize for all of these things, but I am grateful for all of them. They allowed us to grow together, become closer and create memories that will be with us and those around us for a lifetime.”

The man says “I am scared that I am going to die and leave you alone”

The woman says “I can never be alone, because you are part of my heart and soul. You will be with me forever. Whatever the afterlife holds for us, I know that you will be waiting for me.”



Hugs and love to you all

Monday, November 5, 2012

Day 5

Today I am grateful for a group of people...
A group I have never met in real life,
A group who read my drivel,
My deepest secrets,
My endless rambling,
Who see my attempts to create,
To vent,
To release.
A group of people who
Although I have never met
Send a quick comment
A quick email
A picture
A card
A smile
People who I may not have met in real life if you had been standing beside me but people with whom I may feel more connected than with those I dwell amongst every day..
The people who I wish I had a million dollar so I could pull us all together for a long weekend to finally meet each other..
To laugh together,
Drink together, share a few meals and stories around a fire.
To all of you who read, who comment, who lift me up and who knoww when I need a little bit of extra encouragement..
The twists of fate that have led us into each others' lives may not make a lot of sense...but I am thankful for each and everyone of them every day.

Hugs and love to you all tonight!

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Day 3 ( that didn't post yesterday)

Today I am grateful for lazy days...
We had a bunch of errands to run this mor ning but once we finished those, we came home and have just been chillin for the day.  It has been terribly unproductive and quite a change from the frentic pace that has been the past few weeks.
Hubby and I are snuggling on the couch with a bunch of junk food.  We are both watching different shows...his on the big tv. Mine on the computer...but it is nice to just be able to relax.
Hope you all have had an awesome day.
Ps- I have joined pintrest...come find me....I think my user name is colenic

Day 4

Today...I am grateful for my four fur babies...
My kitties came into my life eleven years ago this past month...
I had been bugging hubby for a cat..
We were living in an apartment at the time and although all of our neighbors had cats, technically the landlord didn't allow them. 
We wanted to adopt a cat and the humane society here wouldn't let us unless we had written permission from the landlord..
Hubby called me on Columbus Day from a job site and said...you need to go down the street to the pet store and pick up some kitten food.
I didn't know what he was talking about but he said they were young, so I went down the street...
He came home that night with my four babies...and babies they were....they were teeny and were scared.  We took them to the vet the next day and found out that they were only a week old...
They are my babies...I was up with them every two hours when they were young....brought them to work with me in a bag cause I couldn't leave them alone...they snuggle with me nightly and come under the covers when they are cold.  The listen to the laughter...know when you are upset and just know when you need a little bit of extra love...





Friday, November 2, 2012

Day 2

Today,as I read stories of devastation and despair, I am grateful for power and a roof over my head.
There are so many stories, both that I read online and that people I know are telling.
About flooding
About being hungry
About not having water
About not having fuel.
People say that patience is wearing thin and people are getting antsy.
I can't even imagine with the cold that is supposed to hit over the next few days...
I send out positive thoughts to all those affected for a speedy recovery.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

A month to be grateful

there's lots of stuff swirling around in my head right now...
so I have decided that I need to refocus on the purpose of this blog...
so I am going to put out my challenge to myself out there...
I am going to blog, at least once a day, about what makes me grateful.
I don't promise prose and poetry every day, but I am going to use this as a way to refocus on the positives in my life...
Tonight, and always I am grateful for my husband..
He is my best friend,
My rock,
My sounding board,
My biggest supporter
and often my dose of reality...
He deals with all of the smiles, the tears, the mood swings and my crazy ideas...
He listens,,,even when I am upset and taking my mood out on him.
He hugs and kisses and tries to make it all better.
He spoils me..
he fights with me when I need him too..
he tells me he's proud of me...
He tells me when i am screwing up..
he is my life, my love.
My soul is entwined with his,
My heart beats in rhythm with his
My life would be incomplete without him.
I am grateful for him, today and every day.

Hugs and love to all of you!!

Monday, October 29, 2012

Hurricane Sandy

I just wanted to stop in and say to all my East Coast friends...please stay safe...
We aren't supposed to get the worst of it and they are still predicting 60 + mile an hour winds and lots of rain.
If they suggest you evacuate...please listen..
If you lose power, don't run those generators inside...and be careful with the candles..
As much as I am hoping this is sensationalized media blowing things out of proportion again, I don't think we are going to be that lucky..
Stay safe.
Stay dry
Check in when you can..
Hugs, love and lots of positive thoughts to all of you!!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Almost Wordless Weds.

Jamaica was awesome...
I am still digging out..
but for now..here's my thought of the day.
from facebook

love and hugs!

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Jamaica

Today was an awesome day...spent the day at the pool drinking bar tender specials...
We are definitely having a blast.
I am completely amazed at the fact that everyone who works here just busts out singing whenever they hear a song they know.  Definitely brings a smile to my face whenever I hear it..
Just a few pics for today..




Sunday, October 14, 2012

Hanging out with mom

Yesterday was fun.  Again, I have to say that I am loving just hanging out with my mom...not feeling a ton of urgency to go go go all the time.  We are doing some running around today..but mostly fun stuff!
My mother is one of the most amazingly talented people I know.  She can look at something, deconstruct it and put it back together. 
I have a favorite purse that I use when I travle.  It was a total impulse purchase at old navy probably about seven years ago.
Just a basic canvas green messenger ish bag...this one is big enough to throw a bunch of stuff in, neutral enough that I can really use it regardless of what I am wearing and the strap is long enough that I can wear it across my bosy and it sits right on my hip.  It is old and the front has a pretty big hole.  It didn't really bother me at first cause the bag is lines, so it almost looked intentional...but now the hole is big anout that I have lost things in the lining. I had asked my mom, when I was here a few weeks ago if she could make me a new one.
She did...and its is pretty close to the one I have...plus she put an owl on the front of it from her sewing machine.  It is pretty amazing...she's going to patch my other one so that I have a backup...but I am not sure that I will ever use it again...


Saturday, October 13, 2012

Brr...

I think we skipped right over fall and went straight to winter...
It is super chilly in here today.
I have a confession to make to my blog friends....
I am being stubborn...
the reason that it is cold in here is entirely my fault..
I am refusing to turn on the heat.
It might be 27 degrees outside but I am not turning on the heat.
We are going to be replacing our furnace.   
Switching out the gouging $500 a month oil furnace with natural gas.
The money is put aside, just need someone to come in and replace it.
In walks hubby, who in his infinite wisdom, has someone who will do it...
This someone can't give us a specific time that he can get out here to look at it and give us an updated estimate...but this is the person we are going to use.
So in the mean time, I am hoping that it really doesn't get cold enough that the pipes will freeze and I am buying up comforters and blankets that are on clearance!!
Hugs and love to you all!!

Friday, October 12, 2012

Smiles

It has been an insane day.
I have finally let go of the breath that I have been holding for three days.
You want to know why??
I am leaving for vacation tomorrow.
I know I told you all that for my mom's birthday I bought a trip for the two of us to Jamaica and this is the week.
So tomorrow, I leave behind my dearest husband who is going to keep the kitties company and fly to Maryland to spend a couple of days with my mom and then we, with my brother and his boyfriend, leave on Monday.
The weekend will be running around to pick up last minute stuff, getting our nails done and spending time together...
I am really excited that I am able to do this for her...and I am excited to have some alone time with her!!
Have fun this week and make sure to remember the smiles that you are blessed with every day!! Hugs and lots of love to you all!!

Friday, October 5, 2012

My Favorite Time of Day

My favorite time of day is that moment between light and dark.


When the world is suspended in a dreamlike state.

That moment between the sun hitting the horizon and the sky going black.

The stars start to peek out from their hiding places

The world turns gorgeous, deep, primal colors.

It is the time of day,

When the magic appears to be just around the next bend.

That fine line, that one moment, when anything seems possible.

It’s a time that I feel closest to you,

I can feel your presence,

I can feel your love,

I can almost hear your voice.

Reaching into the magic, there is a clarity that only exists in this one moment.

I check around the corner to see if you are there,

Maybe I can catch you, before the darkness ascends,

For just one more hug,

One more promise of tomorrow.

In that one moment, it suddenly feels possible again,

The moment fades into the darkness and the magic retreats.

I sit, alone,

The real world beckons,

The security, the love, the arms that hold me are real.

As I turn, I can’t help but look over my shoulder,

and wonder if the magic is real and if you are really there.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Spending time

Today I got to do something that I haven't done in years
I spent the whole day with my mom and dad by myself.
Lest I don't mention it enough... I love my husband with all of my heart and don't know what I would do without him but we are mostly a package deal. Which is a good thing...mostly.
I haven't been down to visit my parents alone in what feels like forever and in the past even when I was, my sister was here so we would have to arrange time to see the kids and she would just show up in the mornings occasionally so it wasn't just us. Today was just us.
My mom and I played. We dyed paper and fabric with ink and shaving cream, went to the craft store and just hung out... Chatted without being interrupted a million times. It was awesome!
We all went out to dinner tonight and had great conversation. We watched a movie when we got back and really I just got to enjoy their company without having to share them with anyone... It was kinda nice.
I am hoping to see my brother tomorrow to hang out with him...but am not sure if that will happen or not...but I will see him and his boyfriend in a couple of weeks because they are joining us for our trip.
Today just has reconfirmed that I made the right choice coming down here and has filled up my heart and produced many many smiles.
Hugs and love to all of you!!

Friday, September 28, 2012

Smiles

Today has been an amaZing day. For the first time in a while I finally feel like I can breathe.
I was spontaneous and threw caution to the wind.
I got on a plane and surprised my mom for her birthday.
I think she was kinda bummed earlier in the week that an offer on the house didn't come through.
We talked last night and I heard it in her voice that she needed to just forget for a little while and knew that I wasn't going to be able to wait two weeks when we went away.
Months ago, I told her about a birthday trip to Jamaica with me and my brother and his boyfriend but last night I decided that she needed me now.
So despite it being the end of the month and not quite being at goal I took a deep breath and told hubby that I really felt that I needed to do this.
I booked a ticket this morning and got to Maryland around three this afternoon.
My dad picked me up at the airport and we walked into the house. She was drying her hair getting ready and she came out and saw me and started crying.
She said she knew that she could always count on me to know what she needed.
We hung out on Georgetown tonight had dinner with my brother and his boyfriend and as we were all sitting at dinner and I saw the smile on her face... I knew I had made the right decision.
I needed a reminder about balance and the fact the that you work so you can live...not live so you can work. So as I get ready to go to bed knowing that a few hours of work are needed tomorrow to finish off the month I find myself thanking her once again for her wisdom and continuing to teach me life lessons.
These kind of smiles are priceless and we never know how many we have in a lifetime so I am going to remind myself to make sure I am not missing them.
Hugs love and lots of smiles to all of you

Friday, September 21, 2012

Yep

Saw this on a friend's facebook page today.
I feel like I am spending so much time trying to catch my breath that I forget to sometimes just let it be.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Smiles this week

I got the best surprise in the mail today...
A very nice post card from one of my friends....in Virginia..
Nice to know that she's thinking of me in her adventures (love ya Skippy...it was a great picture and has a predominant space  on the new refrigerator).

Hubby came home last night...
He was up north in "the county" where they grow potatoes...
Lots of potatoes..
He came home with seventy pounds of potatoes..
So if anyone has any good recipes...please I am begging you to pass them on!

Short one today....I am going to go try to catch a quick cat nap before he comes home and we head out to the grocery store!!

Hugs and lots of love to you all!!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Pondering

I preface with, in NO way is this intended to be political.

I got sick on Tuesday...
Mostly that nasty gross middle of the winter congestion, coughing ick (I know it's only September...it's gonna be a long one).
I decided to go to the doctor...not to let it get away from me.
Actually got to see the doctor (not a Physician's Assistant or Nurse Practitioner) always a bonus.
They will bill me because of the way the new insurance works...no worries (easy for them to say right?)
It's bronchitis...a couple of inhalers, some really good cough medicine and an antibiotic were called into the pharmacy by my house.
I went back to work for a couple of hours.
I checked my flexible spending card to see how much money was on there so that the cost of the prescription doesn't come out of my pocket...
we set it up so that the amount of our deductible is deposited in to the account, so while the money is still coming out of our pocket it's pretax dollars..blah blah blah...
Fast forward a couple of hours to the drive thru at the pharmacy.
Lady comes to the window
I give her my name
She finds my scripts and says that will be $407.12
I almost fell out of the car.
I asked if they ran it through the insurance.
She said yes.
I handed over my card, thankful for the foresight of putting money into the account and drove away.
I came home and looked over the merger offerings that I had just spent that much money and thought
For some, that's a whole month's grocery budget
For some that's the cost of heating their house (for a month or even a whole season)
For some, that's their rent payment
For some, that's two car payments.
For some that's gas money, day care money, bill money...the list just goes on and on.
But for most people, that is an awful lot of money to plunk down at one time, just to feel better.
While I know that I had prepaid for this and am thankful to be in a position that I can do that I know many who cannot.
What do they do?
What if the medicine is for a child?  How do you chose between feeding them and making them better?
I don't know what the solution to this all if but I have read multiple facebook posts and articles in the last several weeks about the horror of government run insurance and how there's no way that it will work.  
But I have to ask the question- is what we are doing now working?  Is private insurance really the answer?  There has to be some way, and I don't know what it is, to take the decision out of getting medication or feeding your family.  Some way that people don't need to decide between heating their house and making sure that their kids have medication so they can breathe correctly.
It is something that I have been thinking about for the last few days and I am not sure where the solution lies, but there has to be something better.  Anyone out there have any thoughts??
Hugs and love to you all!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Lazy Labor Day Lobster Lounge

Labor Day weekend means many things for different people...
The end of the summer...
The beginning of fall
Back to school
One last hurrah..

For us it means spending the long weekend with hubby's family.
My sister in law and I decided four years ago after a long summer of trying to schedule some "fun" time and not being able to make schedules mesh that we needed something to mark the end of the summer...
One weekend of fun, sun, comfy clothes, drinks and lobsters.
And so, the Lazy Labor Day Lobster Lounge was born.
We rent a bounce house for the kids...
Buy a whole bunch of food...
Bring several pairs of super comfy clothes and just chill for the weekend...
This year was no different...
Giggles abound from the kids who loved the bounce house and were on a sugar high from the cotton candy...
There was lots of snuggles, lots of Auntie nic and Unkie's yelled...
We even played soccer in the bounce house...
Adults partook in some beverages..
No we did not drink it all!!
We had several camp fires...complete with roasted hot dogs...and s'mores


Lobsters...of course

And the guys even put on a couple of fireworks shows for us.

It was a lovely weekend with the family....
We did a lot of laughing...
A lot of jumping..
A lot of snuggling..
There were some tears when we had to leave...
But also, great big hugs and someone telling us that it was the best weekend ever.
I don't know how many more years we will have this one weekend that we don't let anyone else intrude upon, but it definitely will be one of the best memories I will have of the kids growing up..
Hugs and love to you all!!



Monday, September 10, 2012

Anniversary Weekend

Every year, in August, hubby and I make time to go away...
A quick weekend trip most of the time, but sometimes, the stars align and we can get away for a bit longer than that.
Many of you who read often know that we like to travel.
We just don't travel very often alone :)
It is just the two of us at home (well and four very needy cats) but there is something about being out of the house and away that allows us to relinquish all the stress of every day life and just relax.
It is a time for us to reflect on the past year and reconnect.
This year was no different.
We spent five days at a Bed and Breakfast in New Hampshire.
Now, we are not bed and breakfast people.
We try to be.
I want to be so badly sometimes.
I like the romantic notion of going away somewhere that isn't a sterile hotel and entering someone's home.
Getting to know others who are on vacation.
Sharing wine, playing games, eating breakfast etc.
In reality, many of these places just aren't for us.
This Inn was a good compromise.
They had a little cottage that we rented and we went in for breakfast and a game of chess every morning.
It is an area where we have been many times, with many people.
It was nice, to just relax.
Pretend to be tourists.
Take in the scenery.
Talk.
Those in depth and not so in depth conversations that happen when you are driving with someone that you barely have to verbalize something and they know exactly what you mean.
Those moments when you realize that you are both thinking exactly the same thing.
Laughing together about something silly and stupid.
Crying about the loss of a loved one.
Sharing stories that for some bizarre reason haven't been shared in the last twelve years.
Stopping to do some silly little roadside attraction simply because there are no time limits, no place to be, nothing to worry about missing.
Holding hands and taking in the scenery without saying anything at all.
Goading each other into trying something that hasn't' been done.
Compromising on activities
dipping your toes in the cold mountain water, knowing that there is no place else that  you need to be...but more importantly that you would rather be.
The casual drape of his arms around my shoulders, or my arm wrapped around his waste.
Smiling and laughing
Not talking about everything at home, 
Not stressing about anything.
But at the end of the weekend...what was the best of all...was looking at each other and realizing that although life is stressful,
Although we may yell
we may fight
We may get stressed out and crazy...
We still really, really like each other..
That sounds like a silly thing, but when we get caught up in the day to day craziness of work and the house and all that goes along with it...we sometimes forget..
The trip allowed us to refocus, communicate and enjoy each other's company...
It is a tradition that I know we will keep up every year...
because sometimes, you just need to take that step back and remember why it is that you are walking on the same path...and that you really do enjoy each other's company.

hugs and love to you all!!

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Nice relaxing weekend??

Not exactly...but at least we were productive...
Hubby is going away for the week so the plan for the weekend was to just lie low and enjoy spending time together.
We were off to a great start on Friday...went out to dinner and came home and watched a couple of movies..
He was out of the house early on Saturday to run some silly errands and a drs appointment...
Came home and went to the grocery store and to Walmart.
Picked up a bunch of stuff since we have been gone for the last two weekends for an extended amount of time ( I still owe you posts on our anniversary weekend...and our Lazy Labor Day Lobster Lounge)..
Opened the fridge to that nasty, the fridge isn't cold enough smell..
You know the one right??
Well, the freezer door had been left open (both of us swear it wasn't us...so we assume it must have been the cats :) )
After cleaning up the mess that was on the bottom of the fridge, we shut the doors and hoped..
Well, it wasn't meant to be....the fridge wasn't getting cold.
So off this morning to another one of those great home improvement stores to see what we could find.
After deciding on a fridge that was the opposite of what we thought we wanted, we decided to take the floor model.
Problem #1: Hubby's truck is in the shop..
So my wonderful husband, who is an engineer by training, said no problem...it will fit in the Jeep...just need to take the doors off.
Problem #2: Where to put the doors once they were off.
Tie them to the top of the roof...
After a precarious ride home, it was time to remove doors, shave some of the trim, move the existing fridge and get it inside.
To say it was a tense few hours at my house would be an understatement...but the fridge is in and turned on...
It is cooling off and we were able to save a bunch of stuff by using the old dorm fridge in the garage.
He's off to the land of potatoes for the week and I am snuggling with the kitties.
So not a relaxing weekend...but we will not have to worry about the fridge deciding not to work anymore and we got a good deal on it..
I hope that you are all doing well!! I miss you all and send happy thoughts and positive vibes out on the back of the cool fall breeze that's blowing today!
Hugs!
Doesn't he look proud of himself...

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Amazing Weekend..

We had a fabulous weekend together in New Hampshire.
I am facing the daunting task of a work email box to go through before I go back to work tomorrow...
So for now, I will leave you with some random cell phone pics from the weekend.
i will be back soon...promise!
Fabulous Inn outside North Conway NH...if anyone is looking for a place I highly recommend it! 

Beer sampler for each of us

Fabulous homemade raspberry and white chocolate scone 

Chocolate mint martini

We played chess before breakfast each morning.  

Ellis falls

Toast on our anniversary

All dressed up for our anniversary dinner
Hugs and lots of love to you all!!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Smiles..

Hello my lovelies...I hope you are all well..
We are packing up for another trip...
This one is a mixture of sadness and happiness...
Hubby's great uncle passed away the other night so we are headed north for a wake and a funeral tomorrow and Friday..
He was Italian through and through..
His booming voice will be missed..
his ever present smile stirring a pot of sauce at family gatherings will be missed..
The lingering smell of cigar smoke and vintage cigar boxes will always bring his face to mind..
We will celebrate his life and know that the sadness that is felt now will be replaced with the memories that one treasures for a life time.
Then we head to a Bed and Breakfast for some alone time to celebrate twelve years of marriage...
It is hard to believe that it has been that long since we joined together for a lifetime..
As we reflect on the past and plan for the future, we know that for better or for worse...we are stuck together..
I am sure that I will have some sappy post at some point..but I am unplugging on Friday for the weekend...so I'll see you all when we get back...hopefully with some pictures and some memories to share..
Until then I send positive thoughts and wishes your way on the back of the moonbeams..
hugs and lots of love to you all..

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Thursday thoughts...

From a friend's facebook page
To all of you who have walked beside me, picked me up, helped me smile, made me laugh or listened to me cry...thank you.
To all of you who have read the ramblings of someone from "way up north", left encouraging comments, emailed, instant messaged and made my life even fuller than before...thank you

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Absent

I haven't been around much lately...
Not for any particular reason..
busy with work and stuff..
I did get to see my parents last weekend which was awesome..
hubby ended up being able to come with me to the wedding so that was good..
It wasn't nearly as tough as I thought it would be and I feel like some things were straightened out.
I can't believe that summer is almost over already..
We had a rare free weekend this week and have managed to do absolutely nothing.
Work is good..busy..but good.
The kitties are doing well..
Hubby is good..
I have found a lot of announcements lately of people leaving..
taking a break..
I am reading...and trying to comment..
I just guess that I am not finding much to write about...
Just enjoying life..
Hugs and love to you all..
know that I am thinking about you and sending positive wishes on a regular basis..

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

End of another month

and I can hardly believe that it is August already...
I am not really sure where this year has gone.
I am excited for August.
I get to see my grandparents this weekend..
And my mom and dad...
A wedding reception that promises to be a little fun..
as long as we can get past the craziness.
Then a weekend off..
friends here the following weekend..
And then a long weekend trip away for our anniversary...
In a blink this month will be over too..
Another month of goals..
both personal and professional to be accomplished
Another month of smiles
Another month of Laughter...
A month of fairs and hot air balloon festivals.
August is always my favorite month..
the summer is coming to an end
hopefully cooler nights while the warmth stays during the day.
Lots to accomplish..
Lots to look forward to..
Can't wait to share the smiles!!
Hope you are all doing well and know that there are positive thoughts and well wishes on the back of the warm summer breezes tickling your toes from my corner of the world to yours!
hugs and love!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Thursdays Smiles

It has been a crazy week...work is nuts, home is nuts...but..
I was able to make a friend of mine smile today with a surprise delivery...that always makes me smile (and I was able to keep it a secret..which honestly was really really hard to do...I almost caved this morning in an email but instead obsessively checked the fed ex site to see where the package was..)
Hubby put up the lights in the hallway and outside (finally) I love them and would keep them on all night if he didn't get upset with me.
I get to see my parents and my grandparents next weekend at a wedding...I am pretty excited..but this is also causing me huge stress because I am being a brat and am upset with my hubby.  He was supposed to come with me and isn't coming...I hate going to weddings without him.
Today's is my sister's birthday.  We may not always see eye to eye but I love her and hope she's having a good day.
Tomorrow is my dad's birthday.  He is with my mom at her mother's house doing maintenance for my grandmother's 80th birthday present.  He's a trooper.
That's about it in this corner of the world.  I hope you are all doing well...hugs and positive thoughts today and always!!

Monday, July 23, 2012

Home improvement

63 days...
It's been a long time coming...but I finally have lights.

The new outside light....
Light in my foyer

We haven't had light in the foyer in a long time..
The fix, which was supposed to be easy...and of course wasn't
Involved rewiring the entire downstairs ceiling...
It resulted in light switches and a new dining room light that I showed you a few weeks ago.
The foyer light has been a tricky one...
Mostly finding the time to install..
but hubby surprised me tonight and had them done when i came home...
I love this man...when he gets things done and even when he doesn't!


Friday, July 20, 2012

untitled

Can you imagine the excitement?
Going out to a movie at midnight with your friends
Seeing a movie that you have been waiting for since you knew it was coming out
Talking about getting dressed up in costume
Surrounded by like minded people who you share a camaraderie with because of your shared interest in Gotham City?
Buying popcorn and candy ( or finding the best hiding spot on your costume)
Showing up hours before the movie is supposed to start to make sure you get the perfect seat.
Giddy and excited you make it through the previews and you know this is going to be the best one yet.
And
then
BAM
everything changes
Instead of the carefree night you were planning
All of a sudden real bullets rain down and you are running for your life.
Watching those around you lose theirs
Wondering if you are next.
I cannot begin to imagine what those people in Colorado are feeling or thinking today.
As a nation we are shocked.
As a nation we should be sick to our stomachs
This wasn't some random act of terrorism by someone who invaded our country from some other land
Who kill in the name of their higher power.
This was a young adult who did something incomprehensible.
Hearing the horror of the evening unfold,
watching the videos and news stories
Reading as new development arise
Twitter and facebook both full of conversation about this.
Don't we all have enough monsters in our own closets that we worry about sneaking up behind us?
Isn't there enough to worry about when you go out?
Do we now have to look around at every movie theater?
Watch every exit?
The boogy man is out there...apparently we really never know when it's going to strike.
My heartfelt sorrow and hopes for peace extend beyond just my blogging family tonight to all of those effected by the horrible tragedy that unfolded last night.  May the night bring some small amount of solace and peace.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Thursdays Smiles

Wow..it's been a week since I posted last.
I had a challenge for myself this month but I have not met the challenge (much easier to admit that after without putting it out there for everyone to see my failure :)
I will try to do better next month.
Things have been insane..
but there have been moments of smiles..
Compliments from customers
Recognition from coworkers
Hubby taking on scheduling our anniversary trip and me offering suggestions and stepping back (I am a bit of a control freak sometimes)
My kitties have been snuggly.
The humidity finally broke and I walked outside this morning and it was sixty nine degrees.  it was glorious!!
And lastly I will leave you with a picture....We had our first lobster of the season this week!! Seriously at $3.99 a pound it's cheaper than steak and fresh off the boat!

I hope that you are all doing well....sending hugs and lots of smiles your way tonight and always!!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Laughter

Last week I decided to take my days off and head up north to see my nephews and sister in law.
We laughed..
The kids belly laughs, giggles and smiles helped to soothe the hurt I was feeling.
The margaritas and the giggles with my sister in law reminded me sometimes it's just easier to laugh about it then to take things so seriously.
Hubby came up on Friday night..
We had a great time..
This was one of the first times that I have ever gone up there and felt comfortable..
It was a nice feeling...and helped me work through some stuff.
Other than that...a lot of work...
I hope that you are all doing well...sending hugs and lots of love!!

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Quiet Day Today

Hubby and I headed out this morning for a quick lunch and some shopping late this morning.
We had plans to get the light done in the hallway but decided to play a bit of hooky from the responsibility thing today.
Lunch was yummy and we headed to Wally world.  We needed to get a prescription filled and figured we would buy some groceries while we were there.
You know, this isn't one of my favorite places to go.
There are always a ton of people there...
but some days, it is just the easiest and quickest way to get about everything done.
We shopped and picked up what we needed...
Everything from cereal to paint rollers.
We were going to run over to pick up paint, but I'd had enough...so I will be doing that either tomorrow or Friday.
We spent the day lounging on the couch, being generally unproductive.
Watched the fireworks from the front porch steps.
It was a really great, low key, laid back kinda day.
Couple of hours of work from home in the morning I think and then out to pick up some paint.
The upstairs hallway and the foyer are on the agenda.
The plans in my head keep changing for these couple of days....it will be interesting to see what comes out of them.
I hope you all enjoyed your day today...hugs and lots of love to all!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Feeling better and a mini vacation

I am finally feeling better...which is nice, because getting sick is no fun at all.
It's funny because I used to vomit often, when I was doing my chemo...at least then I felt like there was a reason...
last week it was just that I was sick.
It's a strange thing to wrap my head around.
Anyway..
I am on a bit of a mini vacation for the next few days.
I took off the rest of the week originally because I thought my parents were going to come and visit.
Unfortunately, they couldn't and I have been out of sorts a bit about it.
I don't ask them to come up at specific times very often and I held out hope that it would happen...
not this time.
I will see them in a month at a cousin's wedding so that's good.
Other than that, there isn't a lot going on here.
Same old same old..
Work
home
eat
sleep
work
lather
repeat.
It's okay though, there's a rhythm to it.
Hubby is off tomorrow and I think he is going to try to get the hall light hooked up so that we don't have to go up the stairs in the dark anymore.
We will walk to the end of the street and watch the fireworks show tomorrow night.
And then I will enjoy my two days off.
I might go wondering
take some pictures
I might pamper myself a bit and go get a desperately needed pedicure
Or I might stay home, in the air conditioning and just chill for the week.
not sure yet, but I am excited to have some time to recuperate and just be.
I hope that this posts finds you all with power, having some relief from the incessant heat that is plaguing the country and surrounded by loved ones.
hugs and love on the back of the moon rays tonight to you all!

Saturday, June 30, 2012

MIA

I have been away...
Work has been insane..
I caught this nasty gross stomach bug and have been sick for a week...
With no signs of getting better..
Apple juice is making me smile right now..
I'll be back when I feel better...
hugs and positive thoughts to each of you.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Four letter word

I am fine
Hubby is fine
Kitties are fine
Everything is fine
But everything isn't fine.
What does fine mean anyway?
Fine means..
I don't want to talk about it
I want you to ask more about it
Are you really listening?
Pissed off
mad
Irritated
Melancholy
Content
happy
Good
busy
Crazy
Pulling my hair out
Any or all of the above...
A four letter word that can mean so much...
and yet not mean anything at all.
The question is, when someone says their fine- do you stop to find out what it really means?

hugs love and positive thoughts to the blog universe today...and always.  I have been thinking of you often and staring at the blank screen trying to find something to write.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Going back

Walk through the door


It will be what it will be

Hands shaking

Realizing the fear

Do they remember?

Have they forgotten?

Was it all a dream?

Are they rose colored glasses or was it really what you remember?

Walk through the door, hearing the hustle and bustle.

Stop just inside to get your bearings

Deep breath to calm your nerves

Memories come flooding in

Sounds

Voices

Laughter

Tears

Lost in the moment until the arms encircle you in a hug

Someone you haven’t seen in years

Facebook Friends…whatever that means these days

In that hug, all the memories you shared together encircle you both

Weaving the bubble that encompasses your memories

Every hug extends the bubble

Every squeal of I haven’t seen you/ how have you been/ what are you doing.

Doors open

Doors close

Pictures

Memories

Songs

All of a sudden you are filled with the sounds, the voices, the laughter and yes, the tears.

A moment of silence, beyond the fray

Just a minute to remember

To let the ghosts whisper in your ears

Eyes closed and you can’t help but hear them.

Your heart fills, your soul is calm.

Memories are shared

Small things, that you never realized, are remembered

Those people shaped your life and realize, in your own way, you helped to shape theirs too.

You are hesitant to leave,

Knowing that you can’t stay there forever

One last hug

One last moment

Turn around

Don’t look back

Exhale

Things change, time passes, life goes on, but there are some places, some moments, some memories that bind so tightly that in just one breath all is right with the world.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Thursdays Smiles

Sorry I have been MIA...
Smiles for the last couple of weeks:
Getting to see those wonderful people who I grew up with who know more about me than I like to admit and are as close as family to me...
Getting to spend two extra days with them because of plane delays due to mechanical issues and weather (yes, I am seeing this as a positive now...not so much at the time and hence why my schedule has been all screwed up for a week)
Being happy to be home
Snuggling with my hubby and my kitties.
My bed...after sleeping on an air mattress or a couch for five days crawling into my own bed was heavenly!!
Spending a low key weekend at home with my hubby.  We watched Season 4 of True blood...SO good.
Work is a bit crazy right now but I would rather be busy than the alternative.
This weekend hubby and I are going back to the place where we met for the 25 anniversary of the "barn" also known as the theatre on our college campus where we met.
We are both looking forward to going back to see how our little college has changed, see people who we spent insane amounts of time with while rehearsing and putting together sets, and reminisce about how much it all meant to each of us.
The past couple of weeks have been very introspective for me and I am loving being able to go back in time to see who I was and how the individual pieces of the puzzle have fit together to help me become the person I am today.
I have said often, I am the sum of my experiences, both good and bad and the reflection and perspective I have been able to gain over the last few weeks is priceless.  I promise a better post about it once this weekend is over...
I am sending positive thoughts like shooting stars across the midnight blue sky to all of you.  I miss you all and hope you are well..

Saturday, June 2, 2012

trip away

Ever gone on one of those trips where you knew you needed something...
Your soul renewed
Peace regained
A connection with you past?
Last weekend was that trip for me.
I spent time in  a place that was so much a part of me that I didn't even realize I missed it
Spent time with people, some who I talk to all the time and others who I haven't spoken to in years.
I went to places that just felt....right.
I laughed until I cried
I cried until I laughed
I sat in silence, just able to soak in the energy that flowed around me
Reminisced about old times
Caught up on people's lives
Realized that roots run deeper than I could imagine.
Drove post my old house
Through my old neighborhood
Went to the places we frequented as children.
I realized that that place is my foundation, my rock and while things never change- they  have altered my very core.
The air smelled different,
the food was of my past
every corner had a memory.
Kids have grown,
neighbors moved away
But if you listened closely, you could hear laughter on every breeze, memories in every blade of grass.
You could hear the past swirl around you,
You could breath in the love, support and innocence of a different time.
I haven't lived there in sixteen years,
and will never live their again
But it is nice to know that the roots of what makes me who I am are still strong.
I was able to feed them, nurture them and walk away knowing the foundation is solid.

Love and hugs to you all!!