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Trying to remember that there is always a reason, always something that makes you smile during the day- recognizing the event, person or situation that made you smile will make your day seem that much better.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Acupuncturist Advice

I have been thinking about this post for the last several days. I am seeing an acupuncturist, who is a life saver. We were talking at my appointment the other day about fears and how in the Buddhist religion it is believed that individuals should write down what they fear the most and how their lives will be affected by the worst happening. He said to be as specific as possible about your fears and what your life would look like and having confronted the possibility of that reality, you will put the fear away and not let it affect your everyday life. I found this remarkably interesting because I had never thought of it that way. I know that there are times when everything just gets so overwhelming that you just need to clear your head completely and I feel like hiding under a rock. I haven't done that for a while, but I do know that I need to recharge soon. When I get to this completely overwhelmed point, it is difficult to ascertain where one worry/fear/stress ends and the other begins and I know that I can't deal well when I can't find a box to put things away, or at least compartmentalize so that I can deal with the issues one at a time. I don't know how I feel about writing everything down like that...I guess it makes sense in the long run because there is a natural fear of the unknown....and if you write out what could happen then it's not unknown anymore...maybe? I haven't done this yet...I am considering it..

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

New Shoes...

Today what is making me smile are two new pairs of shoes. I am a bit of a shoe collector. I easily have over 100 pairs of shoes and yet still find ones that I love. The last two days have been two new pairs of heels that I bought a couple of weeks ago. One pair is a basic black mary jane style shoe with a chunky heel. Today's shoes are purple with a stilletto heel. The purple shoes are uncomfortable as all get out but they are adorable. Even better though is knowing that I have my dependable flip flops under my desk- so when they hurt too much I can slip those on!

I had acupuncture yesterday and a really great conversation with my acupuncturist. i am trying to figure out how to follow his advice and write out some things.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Smiles have been hard to come by..

This weekend was okay...it was great to see my grandparents and be able to hang out with them. Other family drama put a damper on whatw as supposed to be a pretty low key weekend.
It has been hot and humid, two things that happen very rarely up here in Maine, and I am LOVING it. We are supposed to get some crazy thunderstorms today. I love summer thunderstorms.
My mom sent me this quote the other day and it seems to encompass the wisdom that I need this week
"Do people let you down? Don't carry them on your shoulders; take them into your heart."

Friday, June 18, 2010

Quick weekend Trip

Just need to mention one more time how much I love going to acupuncture. The ability to zone out for an hour and concentrate on thinking about nothing is something that I need to take more time to do. Maybe I will look into meditation....hmm...there's a thought.
Quick trip this weekend to Connecticut and Rhode Island to reconnect with my family. I haven't seen my grandparents in over a year and I need to see them to feed my soul right now. There is something about going there- back to a place where I practically grew up during the summer- to the safety of my grandparents house and their unconditional love. There is something about the first hug of the summer from both of them, of the look in my grandfather's eyes when I get there, of the ability to just sit and enjoy them as much as an adult as I did as a child. They feed my soul in so many ways and I have realized that I have missed that fortitude over the last year. I will also get to take a ride to my favorite beach and sit on my favorite rock and practice meditating for an hour or so. This particular spot, next to the beach on the rocks that jet out into the ocean is a favorite of mine. There is always a breeze from the water, very few people around and at sunset the ability to say goodbye to the day and recognize the infinite possibilities of tomorrow.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Grocery shopping

Today was a good day until about fifteen minutes ago...I am a bit sad because we were really hoping that we would be pregnant this month...but it's not meant to be this month...so we will try again...just disappointed..
I went to the grocery store this afternoon, having a half day at work, and was walking through the aisles and this little older woman was trying to reach up for a two liter bottle of ice tea...she could reach and I was down the aisle from her behind two other people, who didn't even ask if she needed help. I went over and grabbed the bottle for her and handed it to her. She turned around and smiled and said thank you. I can't imagine that people would have just walked past her...that's a little insensitive.. not to mention ruse in my opinion. I finished grocery shopping and she was in front of me in line. She was a few people in front of me as I was checking out today. I got up to the cashier and pulled out my debit card and the cashier smiled...scanned my items and before she gave me the total, she pulled a $50 bill off her register and subtracted that amount. I asked what she was doing and she told me that the woman that I helped wanted me to know that she was glad that there were still people in this world who would stop and help another human being when they needed something. This recognition made me realize that it is necessary to be aware of how your behavior affects other people and how important it is to always stop and pay attention to those around you.

Thursday, June 10, 2010


Today I am looking forward to acupuncture. The thought of going to acupuncture makes my shoulders relax, my breathing slow and starts the relaxation process...but I never in a million years thought I would be doing it on a normal basis...
My dr recommended acupuncture and I made a face...friends of mine have done it for years and swear by it, but I have also said no way am I going to pay someone to poke me with needles.
My first appointment was like no other drs appointment I have ever experienced. The practioner (let's call him J)took almost two hours to talk to me about EVERYTHING...medical conditions, the primary reason I was there (infertility), mental health, aches, pains, etc. It was nothing like the sterile environment that I have gotten used to in a doctors office. We sat in very comfortable chairs in the room and talked like human beings. The first treatment, not going to lie, was weird. I expected it to hurt, it didn't. I expected it to feel weird, it didn't. It was an amazingly relaxing experience. Was it because I finally stopped for forty five minutes from the nonstop business that makes up my life or was it because of the needles that I was so relaxed but it was the best feeling in the whole world. So I have been back, every week...and for the first time in a very long time my body is actually doing what it is supposed to be...
So today's smile is courtesy of J, a relaxing room, some strategicaly placed acupuncture needles and down time.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Today's smile

I am bad at this...very very bad...I need to get into a routine of blogging on a regular basis. I read all my favorite blogs on a daily basis and really want to write everyday...
Today's smile was courtesy of the security guard at the drs. office. Craziness ensued at the office today with another patient and resulted in a very late appointment. Everyone was very apologetic (which was awesome..they handled everything very well). The security guard (who was leaving the office at the same time as I was) rode down in the elevator with me. Small talk about the craziness of people and the way certain people feel entitled to things ensued. We got off the elevator and he said to me "well dear, I hope that your day is calmer, your weekend is fantastic and that when you see someone acting crazy, you remember that things could be worse". I told him to have a good day and he smiled back at me and said that he would and that it had been a pleasant way to end a situation, having an elevator ride with someone who reminded him of his grandaughter. He made me think of my grandfather and as I walked out of the building, I smiled.