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Trying to remember that there is always a reason, always something that makes you smile during the day- recognizing the event, person or situation that made you smile will make your day seem that much better.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Bouncing off the walls

So I  *might* be bouncing off the walls a little bit tonight...
You see I gave up caffeine about eight weeks ago...
Today, they were giving away iced cappuccinos from Tim hortons (which are my favorite)...
They are not caffeine free and they are not sugar free (which is something else I have tried to avoid recently)...
My hands aren't shaking but just barely...
It is amazing what can happen when you get chemicals out of your system....and then have them again...
It was a really good cappuccino...

So...I thought I should do my Thursday's Smiles....which I haven't done in a very long time...
Here you go:
End of the  month is tomorrow.  I have missed goal by a lot and there is nothing that I can do about it.  First time in a year and a half.  I am not stressed.  As part of my not living to work mantra that I am trying (again) I have decided that I did the best that I could this month with what I had to work with.  I am happy with the work I have done this month and am set up really well for next month, so I will be happy with that.
My parents are coming next week.  Spent part of last weekend straightening up the house and cleaning and organizing.  There is still some left to do but it will get done this weekend.  I called the cleaning lady to come in and actually clean the house on Monday.  I will not apologize for this.  My house needs a deep clean and I don't have the time to do it.  I work hard for my money and will spend it to get this done and be very happy with the result.  Plus it means that I can spend time with my husband this weekend doing something fun...just the two of us.
Lobster season is in full swing and they are cheap!! One of the benefits of living up here is that it is cheaper to buy lobster than almost any other meat during the summer....and it's my mom's favorite so we will be able to have that while she is here....I love being able to make her smile.
I am off next Tuesday through Friday.  I can't wait to have a vacation where I stay at home..
My parents are coming next week and spending the week with us...in our own space...with no one else around...and for no particular reason.  This is the first time this has happened...They have been up before but always with other people or for a specific reason.
i am working on a project at work that is different from what I do every day.  makes it much easier to handle the day to day drudgery when I know there is something else that will require my brain.
My kitties have been super duper snuggly lately....I love it!!
I hope that your corners of the world are happy and healthy....I think of you all every single day as I marvel at your well crafted words, your art, and your kindness.  Thank you for letting me have a glimpse into your worlds.   You inspire me, make me smile and give me unending joy.  I don't say that often enough to you all...sending love, hugs and smiles to each and every one of you tonight!

Tuesday, June 25, 2013


Do you have one of those friends?

One from long ago,

Before you were jaded by the ways of adult life?

One of those friends who you would sit back and dream about what you could do to affect the word when you grew up?

In those moments, between classes or at lunch, lounging outside and solving the world’s problems.

The one who on late Friday nights, you would walk with, and discuss so many things.

How you could make an impact on this world?

How you could not be one of “those” adults who works all day in a dead end job just to pay the bills?

When you were young and idealistic

When you were out to make the world a better place

I met with one of those friends when I was in Pittsburgh.

He was amazing when we were younger….always thought about the world a little bit differently.

He still is thinking about the world a little bit differently.

Everything he does, he does with the thought of how he is going to make the world better.

He is working in a field where he is making a difference every single day….whether through his hospital job or through his yoga teaching.

Sitting across the table from him, eating at a Mediterranean restaurant and listening to him talk about his life, what he has been through, what he is doing now brought me back to those lunch time conversations and late night walks.

He made me evaluate my life.

He made me evaluate what I am doing and what I am not doing.

He made me look at what we are doing, how we are surviving.

And that is what we are doing right now, surviving.

It was wonderful to see him, to be reminded of those times, to be reminded of my former self.

Since then I have contemplated our conversation, his inspirational facebook posts, my former self and my current life situation and come to one conclusion-

I miss the person who thought she could take on the world and win.

I wonder what it will take to get her back.

Friday, June 21, 2013


the sun was shining...
A warm breeze caressed your skin when you stepped outside
The car warm and toasty...
The smell of the ocean on the air..
That is what I was presented with when I went outside today...so lovely....
I watched the clouds float by while at work and thought about the next few weeks...
We are working on some "spring" cleaning over the next couple of weeks...
My parents are coming up and I think my mom will be here for two weeks...
I am pretty excited...
My dad will be here for a week and then I think he is going to go home...or away on a business trip and my mom will stay...
I think she is going to help me get the upstairs redone...pretty excited..
My parents live far away...
they have visited a couple of times, but never for this long..
They haven't gotten to be part of my everyday life for any amount of time...
So I am pretty excited about the opportunity to spend the time with my mom and dad in my space!!
Hugs and love to you all!!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Rollercoaster Ride

In a different state
Spending time with friends who you don't see everyday.
Adjusting to being somewhere else
The good times
The not so good times
Sleeping in different beds
Spending time without hubby
Spending a lot of time with him
snuggling kids
giving hugs
renewing my soul
renewing my heart
snuggling with the kitties
driving here
driving there
gearing up
running around
the rollercoaster ride of life seems unending and my body is telling me it's time to slow down...for just minute..
But it's a ride you can't get off..
For now, I enjoy the slower parts...because in a few weeks, we will be going up a steep hill and going down, around and upside down again...
I love the summer...but the rollercoaster ride I am on for the summer...the steep hills, the loops, the slow parts and the fast parts....it doesn't last long up here....so I plan on taking advantage of every single minute.

Monday, June 10, 2013



Home is where the heart is…

Home is where you lay your head…

Home is where you live your life..

Home is where you learn.

I have been fortunate over the last few weeks to visit two of the three places I have called home in my life.

The first where I spent my formative years.

Visiting with friends…

Kicking around the roots that lie there and continue to grow.

There is something about the way the air smells…the way the food tastes…the way the wind blows.

Taking a moment to be a part of the everyday lives of those people who watched you grow up.

Those people who know the history of the awkward teenage years and the time before that.

Those people who were there for your first kiss, first love, first heartbreak, first sleepover, first fight, first show, first bad hair cut, first dream coming true. That shared history…and old photos…mean that you are forever connected.

Reconnecting, talking, laughing and some tears.

Leave knowing that those people, their laughter, their love and their history runs deep in your blood and that no matter how much time passes, it will always be home.

The second is that place that you went and exerted your first independence from your parents.

Away from home, a kinship automatically grew.

A place, where you spent endless hours in one building with people who had the same goals as you did.

Working together on a show, prepping for an audition, hanging lights, rehearsals, classes.

Once upon a time, that place was your life. What happened in those four walls was magical…and still serves as a common bond between you and those who came before and after you.

A place where there was homesickness, laughter, tears, sing alongs, late nights, drinking, breaking some rules, love, fights, yelling, swearing, and an end result that produced magic (most of the time).

A small, quaint New England town that as you drive in the yellow lines in the middle change to red white and blue, and the small shops and pubs have settled into a great combination of college town and New England charm.

Sitting by the water, enjoying one of those sandwiches that were dinner so many nights with hubby, down the road from where he proposed.

A deep breath, smelling this air, feeling this energy, knowing what’s in store for the rest of the day.

Knowing there are people and places you will go, memories to relive, laughter and some tears in the reminiscing.

Knowing that this place has a piece of your heart and soul and that the memories are on the gentle coastal breeze that blows.

Heading home last night, my third and final home, the place that my wonderful husband and I have chosen to build our lives, I realize that the last few weeks have filled up my heart and soul with positive energy again. I know I leave part of my soul in these two places and every once in a while, I need to go back and visit it to become whole again.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

miss you all..

I keep saying I am going to sit down and write a "real" post...
to write down just how fantastic Pittsburgh was..
how wonderful it was to see old friends
how great it was to be "home" for a little while...
to not have to worry about anything...
but I haven't..
Work has been crazy...
Home has been crazy...
It's all good...but most nights after dinner is done I sit and play mindless games on facebook for a little while and go to bed.
And we are off again this weekend to go back to college for the celebration of a very special professor's birthday...
So I will have to owe you a couple of posts...
but I wanted to check in from my couch before I head off to make sure I packed everything we needed to say hi...
and I miss you all..
and I am sending positive thoughts and a million smiles out to each of you...every single day!!