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Trying to remember that there is always a reason, always something that makes you smile during the day- recognizing the event, person or situation that made you smile will make your day seem that much better.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Day 5: Something I hope to do in my life

This is a fun question- don't we all have bucket lists.  I do.  I actually  have a physical list that I carry around with me to look at from time to time to see what I can do today that's on the list.  There are big things- like go to Australia, go bungee jumping again, climb mt. everest, drink tea at a Chinese tea house, see the tulips in Holland, swim with sharks.  There are little things- like spend the day with my nephews chasing bugs, follow a rainbow to the end, spend a day coloring, enjoy every day for the blessing it is.  Make one person smile a day.
Over the past six months or so- there is one thing that I want to do more than anything in the world.  One thing that would truly make me the happiest person in the world.  I want to have a baby.  I want to see the look on my husband's face when I tell him we are pregnant.  I want to see the tears in his eyes when he holds the child in his arms for the first time.  I want to see him get excited about first steps, be a kid in Disney World with his baby, watch them grow up and walk down the aisle when he/she gets married.  I want the late night feedings, the snuggling, the bandaids when they get hurt, the pictures on the refrigerator.  I want to be the one that a child is yelling for when they yell mommy.  I want the opportunity to teach someone how to appreciate all the little things in life.
I don't know if this is ever going to happen and it upsets me more than I could possibly put into words.  We could adopt- hubby isn't really into that idea at all.  This is the one thing that is so important that it's not on a bucket list anywhere.  This is something that we are trying, testing, taking pills, acupuncture, dieting, waiting and waiting for.  I know that it will happen when it is meant to happen.  I know that the time just isn't right for some unknown reason.  The one thing that I would give everything up for right now- to be a mom, to watch my husband be a dad


  1. My wishes, thoughts and prayers are that this comes true for you Colenic. I can imagine the smiles you would give to such a lucky baby.

  2. I'm with Skippy, may your hope and wish come true.
    Just posted a new award and I have because of your loveliness included you. Please do not feel like you have to "play", just know I think you are special. The Olde Bagg

  3. I really hope and pray that your dream will come true very soon, Col. I'm sure you would make a wonderful mum and I really do hope that it all happens for you x

  4. Holy shit...swim with the sharks!!!!! I have a fear of sharks yet I am fascinated with them.

    I hope your dream comes true for both you and your husband.

  5. Good luck with the baby making...isn't the best part supposed to be all that trying? :) Hed hed down under

  6. Like the old saying goes "Good things happen to those who wait". It will happen eventually. And I hope it does but most importantly, enjoy everything else that life has to offer you. Somehow I think you do!!

  7. i am with the rest - hoping and praying for you to have your dream come true. my daughter is also praying for a baby.

    i could never swim with the sharks. {shudder}