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Trying to remember that there is always a reason, always something that makes you smile during the day- recognizing the event, person or situation that made you smile will make your day seem that much better.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

This may be what a broken heart feels like...

The kids just left...
Someone is picking them up to bring them back down..
I have been so good about all of this
It's for the best
She wants what she wants and there's nothing I can do...
They are her kids,
It's her life
It's her decision
Getting them ready
One last hug and kiss
maybe one more
I love you Aunt Nicole- see you in a couple of days
No you won't
Why not, mommy will bring us back
No, you are moving back there
Auntie Nicole- I love you
Auntie Nicole- thank you
Auntie Nicole- I will miss you
How do you pour every ounce of love into one hug
one kiss
How does a three year old understand why you can't tuck her in tonight
Or a four year old know that you won't see them next week
The nine year old understands and resigns himself to just one more person who was in his life and who he was taken away from
I knew that this was going to be hard-
I knew that this was going to break my heart
I can't believe that I didn't fight harder for them to stay instead of just accepting it
I can't believe that I am letting them leave without having somewhere to go
As I sit, trying to pull it together so I can stop crying, my brain knows that there was nothing I can do..
but my heart just broke into a thousand pieces..


  1. How about..."I can't believe she didn't accept the gift we were offering her and change her life for her children". That's what you need to say. You tried sweetie. That's all you could do. It's sad but beyond your control. Sending you lots of love and hugs.

  2. I'm so sorry. Barb is right, you did the best you could. You tried. You can't change people.

  3. Oh sweetie, I am so sorry you have to go through this. Sending you love and hugs.

  4. It must have been very hard for you to see those little ones going out of the door, Col. I'm just thinking of all the love and hugs that they had when they were all staying with you. I just really pray that they will also find that somewhere else. You did your very best, and you should feel proud of that. Big hugs my friend.

  5. I am also sooooooooo sorry that this sadness has a grip on you but Barb was right and you did all you really could do and God bless you for what you gave those children while you could. They will never forget that.

  6. Now I feel sad for you but you did all you could do and I also agree with Barb........