Thursday Thoughts

This week has been a whirlwind of emotions…


I have wanted to laugh,

Cry

Scream

And sing all in the same breath

I have gotten frustrated beyond belief

I have felt the elation that only a child who trusts you completely can bring

I have walked into my house after a bad day and had it made all better by the singsong voices of a child

And walked into my house after a pretty good day and been deflated and frustrated/

I have alternated between being completely happy and completely disappointed

The extremes of my emotions have been tough for me to handle,

Made even worse because I haven’t been sleeping….too much to think about

It will be okay….there are hidden smiles in everything.

A little hand

A snuggle on the couch

A huge hug when I come in from work

Watching hubby with the kids

Eating dinner together as a family

I know that there is an adjustment period..

And I know that we are right in the middle of that adjustment

I am hoping for patience right now

Patience to teach

Patience to guide

Patience to respond appropriately

I am hoping for trust

Trust that things are being done the way I am being told

Trust that it will get better

Trust that it will work

I am hoping for understanding

Understanding that it is going to be different

Understanding that they don’t know better

Understanding that not everything goes the way we want it to.

I feel the mental shift, starting in the back of my brain.

I take a deep breath before speaking

I take a moment before going in the house

I take a break when I need to

I try to be patient,

I try to trust

I try to understanding.

I need to try harder to teach, to guide.

I need to try harder to concentrate on the smiles.

The big picture is there- I see it and know what it will look like- but right now- we are stuck in the minute details- and sometimes those details seem like they are going to overwhelm that picture.