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Trying to remember that there is always a reason, always something that makes you smile during the day- recognizing the event, person or situation that made you smile will make your day seem that much better.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Day off...

I have today off....It has been one of those weeks that I just couldn't wait to get out of work...
Even though i am currently sitting on my deck typing this in the sun that has finally come out of hiding I am a bit sad...
You see I took today off because someone was supposed to come up for the weekend and visit me..
someone who I have known for a million (okay 21) years...
someone who went through the awkward adolescent stages with me.
Someone who's mother and father I know as well as my own (her dad actually holds the title as the only other father figure other than my own dad that I call dad...isn't that odd...lots of friends mom's have always been called mom but no one else's dad)...
We used to walk through the woods, sneak cigarettes, deal with first boyfriends, first kisses, first break ups, broken hearts..
We have dealt with growing apart with different groups of friends entirely, having nothing in common for a few years and grown back together to be thick as thieves
We graduated from high school together, dealt with moving to colleges that were light years apart, talking religiously once a week, played phone tag to get in touch with each other and always saw each other the first night I was home from college for any kind of vacations.
She was the person I called when i met hubby and told her that I had met the man I was going to marry, and she was the one who bolstered my spirits when I thought that we would only ever just be friends.
She was the first one I called when he proposed, even though it was eleven thirty at night and I knew she had to be up early the next day.
I was the first one she would call when her mom or dad were in the hospital for various health issues, we cried together when we thought it would be the end for one of them, and breathed a collective sigh of relief when the crisis was averted.
When she got married, I was the one she called to help her plan the wedding, and when she turned into bridezilla I was the one who did what she asked and took the brunt of it and several weeks later had a very angry conversation with her about the way she acted towards everyone that day.  We cried together and made up.
I was the first one she called when she found out she was pregnant with her precious little girl after a year of trying and the first one to get a picture when she was born...
She is the one I call when once again I don't get pregnant in a month and she is the support that I need when I want to throw in the towel.
Her baby girl, who is now three, is the most precious child and talks to me in her gibberish on the phone and I cry when I know that I am missing her growing up....
I am the one who can spoil both of them with care packages because I know that money is tight and she knows that i only do it cause I love them and not because I expect anything in return.
We had the whole weekend planned, they were going to drive up with her hubby last night and spend the weekend enjoying Maine.  Beaches, lobsters, a whale watch.  Completed by sitting out each night on the back porch enjoying having this person who is so much a part of my soul being in my space and seeing how I live.  Life got in the way, a broken hot water heater and other expenses happened and I wasn't able to find a cheap enough flight or bus or train to get her here.  She didn't want to tell me because she thought I'd be mad...I told her i wasn't mad, just disappointed.
She called me earlier today to chat because we both had the day off in anticipation of seeing each other.  Sometimes life gets in the way....but today...as I sit on my porch wishing I was waiting for the call that they were getting off the exit on the interstate and will be here in ten minutes, my heart hurts and my soul is crying a bit for the hug of a friend who's been there forever but is so far away.


  1. I'm so sorry Nic. You definitely had your hopes up and then they were let down. Do you guys have webcams? Maybe you can hook them up if not, and you can chat face to face. It helps whenever I'm able to do with family in CT. Sending you huge hugs ((((HUG )))).

  2. I know the feeling because I have a friend like that in Florida that I haven't seen in a long time and a cousin out in Nevada. Even my middle daughter is over 3 hours drive one way now and that is a lot for us old folks to be driving. I feel you pain & hope you have some good times during this holiday weekend.

  3. I totally feel your disappointment and believe me she is probably feeling just as bad as you are. For you, one of her hugs would have made the world right. Life totally has a habit of messing with your groove!! and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. I hope you get one of her hugs soon X

  4. I am so very sorry that you're not going to see your much loved friend this weekend. It must be SO disappointing for both of you. It's not so good when we live so far away from those that we are close to. I do hope that you will be able to catch up with her very soon. Just think, you'll have it to look forward to all over again! Warmest wishes to you dear friend.

  5. What wonderful friends to be for eachother. I am so very sorry for your disappointment. It is so palpable in your posting, but please remember the lovely part of all of this is she's still there to see again another day.

    What is the saying? "Life is what happens when you have plans" or some such like that.

    Hugs sweetheart. :)

  6. you are so lucky to have a life long friend to have shared all those wonderful moments. My best friend, I have only known a couple of years and miss talking with her everyday. She just lives too far away to visit more than once per year.

    I am certain the stars will aline and you will be together again soon.


  7. I'm sorry that you didn't get to meet your dear friend today. Really good friends is hard to find, and I'm happy to read that you have such a wonderful friendship. It's hard though when they live so far away, I hope that you will get to see her again soon...

    "Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life."

    Sending warm wishes to you

  8. I feel so silly now for being sad that I do not see my family and friends often enough and I only moved an hour away.
    I think too..the stars will align and you will have your visit before the end of the summer.
    Congratulations on the award from thisisme. I hope you can find something to smile about this weekend.

  9. It is too bad that we all tend to have days like this. Maybe it was just not supposed to be this time. As long as you both are well and in touch, time will work things out for you to visit.

  10. It sucks when things don't work out the way you want them to but at least you can still talk on the phone even though it is not the same............