Monday, September 27, 2010
Waiting for a phone call
I am sitting here waiting for a phone call instead of going to bed....why you ask? Because my sister is pregnant...this is her third child and she wasn't feeling well when I talked to her earlier. She called me about half an hour ago to tell me that she was going to the hospital because she started bleeding and she was freaking out a bit. My parents are on their way home from Savannah so I hope they make it in time to get there. These are the times that I HATE living so far away. They are all in Maryland and here I am up in Maine. I would have been there in a heart beat to sit with my niece and nephew in the hospital and entertain them while she went into have the baby. I wish I could be there to see their faces when they see the baby for the first time...when my niece finally can let go of the secret of whether or not she has a baby sister or brother....to see the joy in my brother in laws face when he holds the baby for the first time, and see the tears in my sister's eyes when she gets to hear the baby cry for the first time. To document the moments with my camera instead of waiting for a text message or a phone call and that first picture. To know that it will be at least a couple of weeks before I can go to see them and by then he/she won't be a little baby anymore. The routines will be established and they will all be functioning as a family unit should and I will be on the outside looking in for a few days while I can be there with them. There will always be that warming up phase from the kids because we don't get to see them often enough, my nephew will always be a little bit shy when we first get there and my niece will take a few minutes to warm up to us. They will always look at me and say "we haven't seen you in forever" "why do you live so far away" There will never be enough hugs and kisses from them to tide me over till the next time. They will grow up faster than i can imagine and although I talk to them on a regular basis, I will watch them grow up via pictures on facebook and email. Now there will be a new little one to spoil...and watch grow up...missing out on the milestones...watching videos of their first steps, talking to them on the phone for the first time. Hoping to cram all of the love, hugs, laughter and kisses into a short trip...hoping that they know that I love them more than anything and wishing that I could be there to see their first day of school, their first dance recital, all of their birthdays, see them when they put their first tooth under the pillow for the tooth fairy and be the aunt they can always come to no matter what's going on....but right now, I just wish I could be there to hold my sister's hand, sit and play with the kids, and be there when my brother in law says "It's a......." and see the look of pride on their faces....the next time I see them I will hug them a little tighter, play a little longer and hope that they know how much I love them...even when I am not there..