Quick weekend Trip

Just need to mention one more time how much I love going to acupuncture. The ability to zone out for an hour and concentrate on thinking about nothing is something that I need to take more time to do. Maybe I will look into meditation....hmm...there's a thought.
Quick trip this weekend to Connecticut and Rhode Island to reconnect with my family. I haven't seen my grandparents in over a year and I need to see them to feed my soul right now. There is something about going there- back to a place where I practically grew up during the summer- to the safety of my grandparents house and their unconditional love. There is something about the first hug of the summer from both of them, of the look in my grandfather's eyes when I get there, of the ability to just sit and enjoy them as much as an adult as I did as a child. They feed my soul in so many ways and I have realized that I have missed that fortitude over the last year. I will also get to take a ride to my favorite beach and sit on my favorite rock and practice meditating for an hour or so. This particular spot, next to the beach on the rocks that jet out into the ocean is a favorite of mine. There is always a breeze from the water, very few people around and at sunset the ability to say goodbye to the day and recognize the infinite possibilities of tomorrow.

Grocery shopping

Today was a good day until about fifteen minutes ago...I am a bit sad because we were really hoping that we would be pregnant this month...but it's not meant to be this month...so we will try again...just disappointed..
I went to the grocery store this afternoon, having a half day at work, and was walking through the aisles and this little older woman was trying to reach up for a two liter bottle of ice tea...she could reach and I was down the aisle from her behind two other people, who didn't even ask if she needed help. I went over and grabbed the bottle for her and handed it to her. She turned around and smiled and said thank you. I can't imagine that people would have just walked past her...that's a little insensitive.. not to mention ruse in my opinion. I finished grocery shopping and she was in front of me in line. She was a few people in front of me as I was checking out today. I got up to the cashier and pulled out my debit card and the cashier smiled...scanned my items and before she gave me the total, she pulled a $50 bill off her register and subtracted that amount. I asked what she was doing and she told me that the woman that I helped wanted me to know that she was glad that there were still people in this world who would stop and help another human being when they needed something. This recognition made me realize that it is necessary to be aware of how your behavior affects other people and how important it is to always stop and pay attention to those around you.

Acupuncture

Today I am looking forward to acupuncture. The thought of going to acupuncture makes my shoulders relax, my breathing slow and starts the relaxation process...but I never in a million years thought I would be doing it on a normal basis...
My dr recommended acupuncture and I made a face...friends of mine have done it for years and swear by it, but I have also said no way am I going to pay someone to poke me with needles.
My first appointment was like no other drs appointment I have ever experienced. The practioner (let's call him J)took almost two hours to talk to me about EVERYTHING...medical conditions, the primary reason I was there (infertility), mental health, aches, pains, etc. It was nothing like the sterile environment that I have gotten used to in a doctors office. We sat in very comfortable chairs in the room and talked like human beings. The first treatment, not going to lie, was weird. I expected it to hurt, it didn't. I expected it to feel weird, it didn't. It was an amazingly relaxing experience. Was it because I finally stopped for forty five minutes from the nonstop business that makes up my life or was it because of the needles that I was so relaxed but it was the best feeling in the whole world. So I have been back, every week...and for the first time in a very long time my body is actually doing what it is supposed to be...
So today's smile is courtesy of J, a relaxing room, some strategicaly placed acupuncture needles and down time.

Today's smile

I am bad at this...very very bad...I need to get into a routine of blogging on a regular basis. I read all my favorite blogs on a daily basis and really want to write everyday...
Today's smile was courtesy of the security guard at the drs. office. Craziness ensued at the office today with another patient and resulted in a very late appointment. Everyone was very apologetic (which was awesome..they handled everything very well). The security guard (who was leaving the office at the same time as I was) rode down in the elevator with me. Small talk about the craziness of people and the way certain people feel entitled to things ensued. We got off the elevator and he said to me "well dear, I hope that your day is calmer, your weekend is fantastic and that when you see someone acting crazy, you remember that things could be worse". I told him to have a good day and he smiled back at me and said that he would and that it had been a pleasant way to end a situation, having an elevator ride with someone who reminded him of his grandaughter. He made me think of my grandfather and as I walked out of the building, I smiled.

Smiles

The excitement of a friend who is buying a house made me smile today. The complete excitement of the first time you buy a house is unrivaled in my life so far. Listen to her today, going to Lowes to pick out paint and just listening to her excitement reminded me of how excited I was when we bought our new house. The memory made me smile, remembering the feeling that I had when I walked into this house for the first time after looking at over 40 houses in a month. Remembering how I walked in and instantly felt at home. Imagining the paint colors, the wallpaper stripped, the curtains, the furniture, the lighting fixtures...just it being all ours. Being able to do anything that we wanted to to the house and change it if we didn't like it. I know that we overlooked several things in the house- like the lack of light switches, the plaster that's been in the house since it was built eighty some odd years ago, the plastic wall board that's in more than one room of the house. Didn't see any of that when I first walked into the house. I saw the potential that the house offers. Three years later, we haven't reached that potential yet with the house. It is a work in progress and will be for a little while longer, but for the first time in a while I walked in the house today and didn't see all the work to be done but the dreams that have come true in the past three years and the dreams that we are still striving to achieve.

Winter Wonderland

I know that many people have gotten a ton of snow this year and up here in Maine we have been very lucky...to miss many of the huge storms. I am not one of those people who loves the snow and every year I eagerly await the coming of spring. This morning I was driving into work after a blanket (less than four inches) of snow fell and coated the trees and remembered that the winter ca truly be magical. The snow hanging on the trees, the occassional flash of color from the birds who came back from the south too early this year, it was truly enough to put a smile on anyones face.

To one of the most incredible people...

The most important lesson in life was taught to me by someone who I haven't seen in years. He taught me, at a very young age, to dance when people are dancing, to run, to jump, to fly when you have the chance. Never be satisfied just watching when you can participate and always live in the moment. He knew how to make you feel like the only person in a room full of people and taught me that even a kid should be made to feel important. He's gone to the angels today and although I haven't seen in years, I thought about him every single day. At every dance, at every crossroads in my life I was able to look back on the lessons that he taught me and know that there was someone who would always be routing for me, no matter what. His cards and letters came at times in my life when I didn't think things could get better, but hearing from him always made me smile. He always signed them, thinking of you from afar and know that I am always waiting for the next dance. I know that he is watching over me with the others that have passed before him, but I will miss the letters and cards at exactly the right times. I love you and will miss you, but will always remember the lessons that you taught me.