Pondering

Do you have one of those friends?


One from long ago,

Before you were jaded by the ways of adult life?

One of those friends who you would sit back and dream about what you could do to affect the word when you grew up?

In those moments, between classes or at lunch, lounging outside and solving the world’s problems.

The one who on late Friday nights, you would walk with, and discuss so many things.

How you could make an impact on this world?

How you could not be one of “those” adults who works all day in a dead end job just to pay the bills?

When you were young and idealistic

When you were out to make the world a better place

I met with one of those friends when I was in Pittsburgh.

He was amazing when we were younger….always thought about the world a little bit differently.

He still is thinking about the world a little bit differently.

Everything he does, he does with the thought of how he is going to make the world better.

He is working in a field where he is making a difference every single day….whether through his hospital job or through his yoga teaching.

Sitting across the table from him, eating at a Mediterranean restaurant and listening to him talk about his life, what he has been through, what he is doing now brought me back to those lunch time conversations and late night walks.

He made me evaluate my life.

He made me evaluate what I am doing and what I am not doing.

He made me look at what we are doing, how we are surviving.

And that is what we are doing right now, surviving.

It was wonderful to see him, to be reminded of those times, to be reminded of my former self.

Since then I have contemplated our conversation, his inspirational facebook posts, my former self and my current life situation and come to one conclusion-

I miss the person who thought she could take on the world and win.

I wonder what it will take to get her back.