Chilly morning

Baby- its cold outside....brrr...winter is a comin' and there is nothing that can be done.  I am sitting here with my economics book, realizing that I really need to get cracking on this paper.  Hot chocolate is next to me and I just through some meat in the crock pot to simmer away....don't quite know what I am going to do with it yet- but something will come to me!!
Imagine my surprise when I logged into today to a couple of new followers.  Hi everyone!! Glad that you could join me on my journey.
Hubby is still upstairs asleep- poor guy worked all day yesterday.  But when he got home with dinner and we snuggled up on the couch to watch the requisite Halloween movies it was awesome.
I leave you with some Halloween pictures from work and our prison.  Hope that you all have a Happy Halloween!!

Just as an FYI- and as I expected- I am not in any of these pictures....

Day Two: Something you love about yourself

Aww,,,this one is much easier than yesterday's post.
I make an effort every single day to see the positives in life.  I think I have spent a lot of time in my life dealing with situations that have arisen and I am making an effort to live in the moment.  There are so many things to be thankful for, so many things that several years ago I wasn't sure I was going to be around to see that I have to be thankful for being here.  My niece and nephews make me smile, good friendships, being relatively secure, having a roof over my head..there are things that others in life don't get to experience.  I am grateful to be here, kicking and screaming.  A few years ago, I got a devastating diagnosis of a brain tumor.  At that point in my life, going through test after test, chemo, sickness, and all of the emotional crap that goes on with a diagnosis like that I decided that every single day was a gift, there is nothing that you can take for granted because shit happens and sometimes you aren't in control.  So every day, there has to be one thing that make me smile. There is also one opportunity that I have to make someone else smile, to make a difference in someone else's life.  I am extremely lucky.  I am here, I am breathing and I am not wasting any more time.  I work so I can live, I don't live so I can work.  My job is not my dream job, but it provides very well for both my husband and I so we can go and do the things that we want to. The bucket list I have grows everyday, but I also try to cross one thing off every day. I am thankful for all of the blessings that I have had in my life.  That diagnosis, that illness, that fighting that I had to do every single day, that is what has made me appreciate my life, appreciate those around me, appreciate the flip side of the bad.
That is why I started this blog, to remind me to look for one good thing a day that makes me smile, to help others out there who stumble upon this blog to stop and think for just one second about something that happened that was good...something that makes you smile.  As long as I can remember the lessons that I have learned and can take the bad and recognize that (eventually) it will have a flip side, I think I'm doing okay!

Saturday Alone Time

Hubby had to work again this morning.  So I am sitting here thinking about the paper that I need to write wishing I could get motivated to get it done and then I will have all night tonight and all day tomorrow to do nothing....it's not really working!!
I have a sleeping kitty behind my back who is snoring...this is making me chuckle this morning.
I have decided to show you guys my babies who are an endless source of smiles and comfort to me!!

Runtley

 Tigger

Bella 

Ezzy

They are nine years old this year.  Hubby found them on a job site when they were about a week and a half old at the vets best guess and they have been ours ever since.  I fed them with a syringe and then a bottle and brought them with to work for the first month of their lives- they think they are children, eat table food and snuggle pretty much when ever there is someone available.  

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself

Hate is such a strong word.  One that I don't use very often. I am not sure that I can hate anything that I can change about myself.  I am unhappy with my weight, my lack of motivation at times, my procrastination skills- but I don't hate that about myself.
I hate the fact that I can vividly remember all of the bad things that have happened in my life.  I wrote the other day briefly about the fact that there are anniversaries coming up and that I do believe that everything happens for a reason...what doesn't kill you makes you stronger..blah blah blah...and I do honestly believe that.  However, I can go back to some of those moments and remember in vivid detail what happened, how I felt and it really throws me for a loop sometimes.  It is almost completely out of my control at times and will sneak up on me.  It is only the bad things I can remember with this level of clarity- never the good. Don't get me wrong I have plenty of happy memories and can remember things from my past, but never with the all encompassing vividness (is that even a word) that these memories can sneak up on me with.
I hate this piece of my subconscious.  Nothing that I seem to do helps with these memories.  I think I have made piece with something until it slams into my reality again and can really really mess with my head.  Luckily for me my hubby was "just a friend" during most of it and mostly understands.  It causes me pain and I know that it causes him to relive some of that time and it's just not good.  I wish I could make it go away or at least that some of the good memories had the same level of vividness, at least then the bad ones would be worth it..

Finally Friday!!!

It is finally Friday.  I couldn't be happier about it being Friday.  This was the longest week ever.
Today's smile? I am sitting at home in my pj's with my hubby watching shows that we haven't been able to watch all week.
I am going to do this thirty day challenge that has been going around.  I am listing it here tonight and will start tomorrow.
This is a super short post- I am seriously bone tired- but I am snuggled in with my hubby and the kitties and have a glass of wine sitting next to me (with the bottle in a chiller right behind it).  Hope that you are all enjoying this evening.  See you tomorrow!

30 Days of Truth:

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself
Day 2: Something you love about yourself
Day 3:Something you have to forgive yourself for
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone else for
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living
Day 8: Someone who has made your life hell or treated you badly
Day 9: Someone you didn't want to let go, but who drifted
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough times
Day 14: A hero that has let you down
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn't live without
Day 16: Something or someone you could definitely live without
Day 17: A book you've read that changed your view on something
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage
Day 19: What is your opinion of religion?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (Scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you got into a fight a couple of hours before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn't done in your life
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone and explain why you chose those songs
Day 25: The reason you believe you're still alive today
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life?
Day 27: What's the best thing you've got going for you right now?
Day 28: What would you do if you got pregnant (or got someone pregnant) right now?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself
Day 30: A letter to yourself

Lists of smiles

This has been an insane week and I am writing this as I clock out at work for my last late shift of the week!!
Smiles for the week:
Dates with my hubby- what could have turned into a horrid week with us working opposite shifts- turned into us making a couple of hours here and there and having dinner or lunch and talking and trying to squeexe everything in and actually having meaningful conversation!
Today's lunch date with my hubby was the best of the week- with me fully dressed up as a convict (complete with sleevers of fake tattoos and striped pants on) and him shrugging his shoulder and holding my hand as we walked into the restaurant
Winning second place in our Halloween decorating contest....always awesome to win and we working damn hard on this one.
Being able to be a bit silly at work today with the Halloween festivities
Last week of economics (one more paper YAY) and I am officially more than halfway done with my MBA
Shopping with a coworker at lunch time yesterday
Dinner date with an awesome friend on Monday
Catching up this morning with my aunt finally on the phone
Knowing that with the exception of getting my paper done this weekend- I am going to be able to do whatever I want to- like making cheese and thickening orange marmalade
Lots of comments on my blog this week....I love comments on my blog....I am a lurker...have been for a long time but am trying to leave comments this week...cause I know that they make me smile when I see them...so I am sure that they make others smile!
Being able to finally leave my office today!!
Hope everyone has a good night!

Late nights and opposite schedules

I am sitting at home with my cat snuggling my neck on the back of the couch waiting for my hubby to get home.  He needed to work late again tonight as did I.  He called me at six and asked me how late I was going to be- when I told him I didn't know he said okay and we got off the phone.  About half an hour later, dead on my feet, I walked out and saw him in his truck right behind my car.  He wanted to surprise and have a quick dinner before he needed to go back to work.  I think it's the most time we have spent together all week.  Gotta love those late nights at work!

Other than that, the second half of the day was spent decorating the department for Halloween.  It actually turned out pretty good and was pretty fun to do.  I will be happy when it's all over tomorrow.

A lot of my blog friends seem to be doing a 30 day challenge and as I read them I think it would be fun, although not really what this blog is about....I am debating on doing it...what do you think??  Do you want to hear about that stuff or should I just stick to the things that make me smile.

I got two packages tonight when I got home (who doesn't love getting mail that aren't bills).  I got my text book for my next class (Managerial Finance...ughh) and my cheese making kit!!! I opened it up right away.  I am super super excited to make some cheese.  We will see how it comes out.  Hubby and I (mostly me) decided that we are going to try to avoid the grocery store this winter.  We are part of a winter crop share program with one of the local farms here- boxes of organic veggies every three weeks from November through April (delivered to work...a bonus) and we are buying a pig and half a cow from an organic farm in Northern Maine...so I figure I will make bread on a weekly basis...and we will have to buy eggs, milk, coffee and cheese...and now I can make my own cheese! It's worth a try...we will see how much we like it....
That's all for tonight...hope everyone is well...let me know what made you smile today!

Creative juices are flowing

We are getting ready for our big Halloween bash at work...each department decorates for Halloween and I am on the decorating committee (of three) for our department...so although I despise the idea of mandatory fun, it is fun to allow the creative juices to flow...so that's one smile for today.

The other is my acupuncture appointment.  I seriously love acupuncture and the person who does my acupuncture is sort of like a therapist....we talked about what I would ideally like to be doing in my career tonight and it was great to hear the positive feedback.  The acupuncture is relaxing and the fact that I get a whole hour in a dark room with music and can meditate and just relax is the best thing that I do for myself during the week.

I have been doing some serious thinking about a lot of things lately and am grateful for everything in my life.  I have a husband that I love more than life itself, a family who I would do anything for, friends from many different points in my life who I couldn't live without and a job that pays the bills.  I have a roof over my head, food on my table and my cup runneth over.  I have worked hard and am a pretty lucky person.  Life hasn't always been a bowl of cherries and I have been reflecting on some of the things that have happened in my life.  No matter what has happened, I am reminded looking back on some of the situations that everything happens for a reason.  There are some "anniversaries" coming up in the next few months- and I realize as these dates come and ago how truly lucky I am.

New People and a dinner date!!

First- thanks to the new people who have come via Bouncin' Barb- welcome and I hope that you enjoy my little corner of the world. Barb- thank you for the award...it means more to me than you know and I am going to pass it along...but need to narrow down the field a bit more!
Tonight I had dinner with one of the most amazing people that I know.  She and I have known each other for ten years.  She is several years my elder, but we have the best friendship.  We haven't seen each other in months and have been exchanging voicemails for a few months.  She called me and left me a message the other night and said, Monday night dinner, the usual place.  It was so good to see her.  I honestly believe that I am blessed by the most wonderful people in my life.  There are those that I see on a regular basis and those that I see once every few months, even years.  It's those people who you can sit across a table from and have a conversation like you were together yesterday, who genuinely want you to cut the crap and want to hear about how your life is really going that are the blessings.  Those people, who know just when to call, just when to insist on dinner, just when to tell you to take a break that are the most important.  Girlfriends are amazing creatures...you can talk about anything and no matter how much you love your husband, boyfriend, significant other, they are the ones who know what you are thinking without you saying it, who you can feel like you talk to every day when in reality it's been months, who forgive you for missed voicemails and who can feed your soul, renew your spirit and sit and talk with you for hours about nothing at all, but you leave full of smiles, full of renewed hope and knowing that all is going to be okay.  This woman, my dear friend, has grace and poise, can make you laugh and thinks nothing of shedding a few tears, who grabs my hand at dinner just because it's been that long since we've been together, who gives you kisses on the cheek to leave lipstick there, who hasn't had the best summer, but also knows it could have been worse, who for a few hours makes time stop, the world slow down and who knows just when to say it's time for dinner, she makes me smile and makes me realize how truly blessed I am to have people like her in my life.

Back to normal stuff..

Thanks to everyone who read the incredibly long winded post last night....I just needed to get it out there because I feel like that's all I have heard about lately.
Today was a beautiful, albeit chilly, fall day.  My hubby woke  me up this morning and asked me to take a ride with him to pick up cylinders.  I got up, begrudgingly, and got in the truck.  After stopping to get breakfast, we drove and drove....the leaf peeping season is definitely over and it was chilly.  there was snow on the mountains and the wind in the air.  Stopped at Wally world to pick up some stuff that we needed and meandered back home.  We talked, sang, laughed and just enjoyed actually seeing each other awake for more than an hour.  We are shopping for a treadmill and haven't been able to find one yet....but we are still looking.
Now we are going up together and watch some silly movies and just enjoy the night.  Hope that everyone is having a good weekend!

A step out of the "normal" posts

 "I don't care what they do/say to you...you are worthy of love.  They are afraid of your light...because darkness cannot exist in the presence of light...and darkness is all they know."


Listening to the news and facebook and radio shows and other blogs and pretty much any other media source over the last few weeks, you hear stories about bullying.  The quote above is one that was referenced on another blog that I read from someone who I went to college with.  I love the quote and honestly don't know who to attribute the quote to.  ANYWAY...
Even though we have heard about bullying lately over and over, it is not something new, it is not being done to one group of people.  Kids get picked on for a variety of different reasons, because they have glasses, because they are not part of the cool crowd, they are in that awkward stage of life, because they are wearing the wrong color clothes that day.  Bullying is nothing new...bullying has been part of schools, work places, etc for years.  The question needs to be asked, how does a child learn that it is okay to make someone else feel like they are superior to another person, is something that they are learning at home?  Is the media feeding this belief? The internet?  Kids have been suffering from bullying for many, many years.  I wonder why the outrage now?  It is certainly sad that individuals are feeling so hopeless that they need to go to extremes...but why do these kids get to set off the media alarms.  Where was the media when a child was beaten to death because they were from the wrong country and in a high school where the other students didn't know how to appreciate diversity?  Where were the celebrities when a child, of only 11 years old, killed herself because she was being harassed by a boy in her class?  Where was the outrage then?   Where was the outrage when a fifteen year old was so desperate that she hung herself from a stairwell in the high school with a note saying I finally did it and when her locker was opened, over 100 notes were found saying that she was useless and fat, stupid and a geek.  Where was Ellen or Oprah or Tim Gunn saying that it was okay and that there was help out there?
Bullying is an epidemic in our country.  Hatred from children in our schools, adults in our workplaces run rampant. Whose responsibility is it to teach our children that they shouldn't hate.  I believe that it is the responsibility of a parent to teach children that you shouldn't hate someone because they are different.  I don't believe that the responsibility lies on the teachers, social workers, or other adults.  The responsibility lies with a parent.  Unfortunately, there are many prejudices in this country that are perpetuated from one generation to another.  
The question was asked today on facebook if you could champion both tolerance and freedom.  I am not sure if it is possible.  If you champion freedom, then you have to be able to accept that some individuals can't tolerate other individuals and will use their freedom to spew hate for others.  If you champion tolerance, you have to accept the fact that you will need to take away some freedom from individuals to feel the way they want to/have been taught to feel about other people.  
Yes, I want everyone to hold hands and sing kumbaya- that's my goal for this world.  I don't believe that will ever happen, but as I interact with children in this world, and hopefully someday bring some of my own onto the planet, I will do my best to teach that everyone is worthy of love, everyone deserves to be celebrated for their differences, and just because someone wears glasses, kisses a man or a woman, likes to read, likes to play video games, may be a little socially awkward, or hang out with a different group of people, that doesn't mean that they deserve hatred.  Embrace the differences, learn from them and accept them and the world would be a better place.

List of the week

This has been a crazy, insane, long week.  So crazy and insane that this is the first night I have been home for dinner with my husband.  There are a couple of things that have made me smile this week:

Drinks with my boss after a LONG day

Dinner with my hubby tonight

He brought home my favorite beer this week...and I am enjoying my first one now

Feeling like I am accomplishing something at work

new followers and discovering new blogs

a short day at work and a pedicure

a weekend at home in my pj's this weekend

snuggling with my kitties in the morning

Nice long hot showers after a long day of work

Odd Dreams??

The last few nights, I have been having some really odd dreams.  Most I don't remember but last night's dream that I can remember was a continuation of the dream from the morning before and it included many of the people that write blogs that I read on a regular basis.  I will admit that a lot of the people I have discovered have been through Skippy's blog.  I keep having these dreams about us all being at a farm and learning different things about milking cows and making soap, but also about making Halloween decorations and writing little plays for grandkids to act out....or talking about weight loss issues.  It is quite strange...but I wake up from these dreams where I can see the way all of us would (in theory) interact and see us laughing, smiling and sharing stories with each other...
While they are a bit odd and I am not sure that I will ever have the opportunity to meet any of you in real life, it's nice to wake up feeling like part of a group of people that can share their lives....so it is you guys and the many other blogs that I read during the day that are making me smile!

Weekend projects

It's been a busy couple of days at our household.  My inlaws were down for the weekend to help with some projects around the house.  Kind of scary when going back to work seems like you are doing less work.  However, we got a lot accomplished.
A new door:

and a bonus light....yay!! Thanks to my hubby and wonderful father in law and all their hard work, we now can get to the deck to shovel this winter!!
Meanwhile, my mother in law and I in the kitchen made

some very pretty, red apple jelly, 11 jars of it to be exact...
By special request (from my father in law) we also made

orange marmalade.  This didn't set up right and will require some reprocessing, but there are 12 jars of that sitting on my kitchen counter.   Along with the 10 pints and 2 quarts of apple sauce, another apple pie and two loaves of apple bread, I can safely say that I have broken in my canner this year.  It was great fun, as I have never made jelly before....not sure that I am ever going to make it again...but it was good to try.

Fall is here, and tonight is the first night that it will be below freezing.  I need to get out and take some pictures of the trees before all the leaves drop onto the ground.  It's nice to feel like we have accomplished a bunch around the house this summer before it snows.  Means that we can concentrate on finishing up the kitchen and maybe the downstairs bathroom this winter....fun fun...it never ends....
But, i have a door and a light and was able to use the grill on the deck for the first time the other night....it really can't get much better than that!!

Thursday's List

Hmmm...it's been a long week.  the short weeks always seem to be the longest.
Still smiling about the time with the kids
It's getting cold out so the cats are super snuggly...there noses are awfully cold when they come under the covers..but it's so nice to feel their warmth in the middle of the night.
My coworker who decided to build a tower out of notebooks and cups on my desk
Finishing up a book just for FUN...instead of a text book
Lots of pictures to edit...I haven't taken pictures in forever...
Only two weeks left of my class.
That's all I got for right now.  I have a crazy headache right now and it's time to go to bed...

Snuggle time!

I had an amazing weekend.  There were so many reasons to smile this weekend that I lost track of all of them.  The baby is adorable and such a little peanut.  He snuggles right in and just sleeps and sleeps and sleeps.  He, like most babies, is totally spoiled and doesn't ever get put down during the day so he likes the ability to just snuggle right into that crook in your neck and breathe his little baby breath.  We did go out shopping the other day with both of my nephews and my sister.  My nephew wanted these pirate rain boots.  He wanted them so badly and we had all said no,  the conversation we had went like this:
J-Aunt cole I want them.
Me- Nephew, I am not sure you need them
J- Aunt cole I NEEEEEED them
Me- I don't know
J- Call uncle meatball and tell him I need them.
Me- Okay I will buy them for you..you are too stinking cute.
So I bought the boots.  He sat in the middle of the floor of the store to put them on.  He wore them all weekend.  He is too cute.
I got to spend time with my brother.  We went to see Cirque Du Soleil Ovo- amazing show. The woman at the box office was amazing because I bought tickets for the wrong night and didn't even realize it. I bought tickets for Oct. 15th.  She exchanged the tickets and we actually ended up with better seats than we had.  It was an amazing show and so nice to spend quality time with my brother.
Hung out with my mom and dad all weekend and my aunt ended up driving down from Connecticut.  It was so nice to be surrounded by that feeling of home.
I would never live down there--I don't think that I could but it is so nice to go and visit and spend time with everyone.  Nice to know that although I am looking in from the outside most of the time, that when I get there I can re-enter the fold.
Smiles all around, even getting off the plane last night.  Nice to go and visit and nice to come home.  It was a welcome break from my everyday life and leaves my heart full, my soul rejuvenated and my mind refocused on what really matters.

Airplanes

Today i woke up at some hour of the morning that individuals shouldn't be awake after barely sleeping at all and drove to the airport and got on an airplane.  The flight was uneventful.  It was a solid hour of reading a book that I have been trying to get to for months now.  Walking through the airport, looking at all of the gates, seeing the exotic places that people were going, I was completely happy with where I was.  I met my mom and got that smile, the hug and knew that home is about where the people are who love you--not your physical location.  We are getting ready to go see my sister with the bags of clothes that I have for her kids.  I have a date with my brother tonight....we haven't spent quality time together in a million years....we are going to see a show....I can't wait.  I am happy and content and this place, these people feed my heart and soul in a way that no one else can. Plus, I get to hold a new baby today....and hug and squeeze the kids and for a minute, have all the time I want with them....life is good today.

List of smiles this week

My list this week...so far..
I don't have to take vacation time for tomorrow (means i worked two twelve hour days...but this is about the positives)
Hubby  having dinner ready every night this week
Another week down in my economics class...halfway through
New clothes in the mail
free upgrades on the plane tomorrow
apple sauce in the crockpot (again)
getting on a plane tomorrow to meet my nephew
Hanging out with my mom for the weekend
Knowing (hoping) that my hubby is getting work done at the house this weekend while I am away.
My husband waking me up in the am by singing to me :)
A date with my brother tomorrow night...
Now I have to go pack!!

Monday Monday

It's Monday...well there's only a half hour left of Monday...I am ready for the week to be over already!! The stress that was supposed to disapate has gotten worse.....I think I have a travel bug...as in I haven't been on a trip this fall and it's driving me nuts...I know I am a little spoiled...but we work hard all year and we take two vacations one in the spring one in the fall.  this year we did one in the spring and one in may....too close together...waaa...sorry...just in a funk and need to get out of it soon...
Let's see today's smiles...my acupuncturist who moved to a location around the corner from my office who offered me a job after hearing what a wretched day I had....he was just kidding...but it would be nice.  Got me to thinking about all of those creative things I used to do.  now I don't do them anymore.  I need to remedy that. There is part of my soul that needs to be fed and taking pictures or painting or something is what is needed to feed that part....something to look forward too.
Speaking of something to look forward to, I get to meet my nephew this weekend.  I can't wait to see my mom...see the baby.....see my other nephew and niece and my brother and the rest of the family.  I am looking forward to being in that space....the space where you know that you are surrounded by people who have to care about you :)
Just as a side note....I need to decide what to do about taking more fertility drugs....we really want to have a baby but they make me crazy insanely emotional.  My acupuncturist suggested going the natural route if we don't get pregnant this time...that is using natural supplements instead of the hormones....I don't know enough about this to make an informed decision....becoming a parent isn't supposed to be this hard....isn't the stress supposed to be after you have them?
So there's my random post for tonight.  I am going to go curl up into bed and try to get some sleep....hugs.

Date Night

This week it seems I have used the phrase date night a lot. My hubby and I like to go out. We have dinner or go grocery shopping or just go to pick something up or even for a ride. I have been reflecting a lot on our relationship lately....it is very interesting what you come up with when you think about the person you've been with for ten years and the cycles and ups and downs and round abouts you've gone through...

He is so many things to me- my best friend, confidante, lover, sounding board.

He knows everything about me- the good, the bad and the ugly. He knows how to push the right buttons at the right time. We can fight (which really I love)...I mean fight...yell scream get mad walk away regroup and come back together. We rarely stay mad at each other very long. I have friends who never fight with their significant other...and that works for them...it wouldn't work for me or him....because often the fights are a result of something deeper that we don't want to say (we are both EXTREMELY stubborn people) and so by pushing those buttons things get out in the open and talked about. He knows when all i want to do is cry and how to look at me and make me stop moving so I can get it out....

He sings these silly silly songs when he is doing things.....not anything that anyone has every heard of, but he sings what is going through his head- like he was just singing on his way up to bed.

He is the reason I smile....a quick text that just reads Hi because we haven't talked all day...the "honey I'm home" comments when he walks through the door, the silly singing, the way he can hold my hand or wrap his arm around me and make me feel completely safe, protected and taken care of. He stands behind me 100%. He is my biggest cheerleader but isn't afraid to tell me when I am doing something wrong or over reacting. He is my world and I don't know what I would do if he wasn't here.....I never wanted to be that person when we first got married. We definitely did our own stuff...which was fine then, but this other stage of our relationship, the one where it is more important to be home with each other, chillin' on the couch, watching movies, or working on the house, whatever as long as we are together....I could get used to this stage...

I don't really know what is possessing me to write all of this down tonight....but I looked at him over dinner as I handed him part of my dinner that I didn't like at the same time as he was setting something on my plate and thought that I must be one of the luckiest people in the entire world.....to have someone who the faintest thought of makes me smile...and knew that I needed to write it down.