About Me

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Trying to remember that there is always a reason, always something that makes you smile during the day- recognizing the event, person or situation that made you smile will make your day seem that much better.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Feeling better and a mini vacation

I am finally feeling better...which is nice, because getting sick is no fun at all.
It's funny because I used to vomit often, when I was doing my chemo...at least then I felt like there was a reason...
last week it was just that I was sick.
It's a strange thing to wrap my head around.
Anyway..
I am on a bit of a mini vacation for the next few days.
I took off the rest of the week originally because I thought my parents were going to come and visit.
Unfortunately, they couldn't and I have been out of sorts a bit about it.
I don't ask them to come up at specific times very often and I held out hope that it would happen...
not this time.
I will see them in a month at a cousin's wedding so that's good.
Other than that, there isn't a lot going on here.
Same old same old..
Work
home
eat
sleep
work
lather
repeat.
It's okay though, there's a rhythm to it.
Hubby is off tomorrow and I think he is going to try to get the hall light hooked up so that we don't have to go up the stairs in the dark anymore.
We will walk to the end of the street and watch the fireworks show tomorrow night.
And then I will enjoy my two days off.
I might go wondering
take some pictures
I might pamper myself a bit and go get a desperately needed pedicure
Or I might stay home, in the air conditioning and just chill for the week.
not sure yet, but I am excited to have some time to recuperate and just be.
I hope that this posts finds you all with power, having some relief from the incessant heat that is plaguing the country and surrounded by loved ones.
hugs and love on the back of the moon rays tonight to you all!

Saturday, June 30, 2012

MIA

I have been away...
Work has been insane..
I caught this nasty gross stomach bug and have been sick for a week...
With no signs of getting better..
Apple juice is making me smile right now..
I'll be back when I feel better...
hugs and positive thoughts to each of you.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Four letter word

I am fine
Hubby is fine
Kitties are fine
Everything is fine
But everything isn't fine.
What does fine mean anyway?
Fine means..
I don't want to talk about it
I want you to ask more about it
Are you really listening?
Pissed off
mad
Irritated
Melancholy
Content
happy
Good
busy
Crazy
Pulling my hair out
Any or all of the above...
A four letter word that can mean so much...
and yet not mean anything at all.
The question is, when someone says their fine- do you stop to find out what it really means?

hugs love and positive thoughts to the blog universe today...and always.  I have been thinking of you often and staring at the blank screen trying to find something to write.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Going back

Walk through the door


It will be what it will be

Hands shaking

Realizing the fear

Do they remember?

Have they forgotten?

Was it all a dream?

Are they rose colored glasses or was it really what you remember?

Walk through the door, hearing the hustle and bustle.

Stop just inside to get your bearings

Deep breath to calm your nerves

Memories come flooding in

Sounds

Voices

Laughter

Tears

Lost in the moment until the arms encircle you in a hug

Someone you haven’t seen in years

Facebook Friends…whatever that means these days

In that hug, all the memories you shared together encircle you both

Weaving the bubble that encompasses your memories

Every hug extends the bubble

Every squeal of I haven’t seen you/ how have you been/ what are you doing.

Doors open

Doors close

Pictures

Memories

Songs

All of a sudden you are filled with the sounds, the voices, the laughter and yes, the tears.

A moment of silence, beyond the fray

Just a minute to remember

To let the ghosts whisper in your ears

Eyes closed and you can’t help but hear them.

Your heart fills, your soul is calm.

Memories are shared

Small things, that you never realized, are remembered

Those people shaped your life and realize, in your own way, you helped to shape theirs too.

You are hesitant to leave,

Knowing that you can’t stay there forever

One last hug

One last moment

Turn around

Don’t look back

Exhale

Things change, time passes, life goes on, but there are some places, some moments, some memories that bind so tightly that in just one breath all is right with the world.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Thursdays Smiles

Sorry I have been MIA...
Smiles for the last couple of weeks:
Getting to see those wonderful people who I grew up with who know more about me than I like to admit and are as close as family to me...
Getting to spend two extra days with them because of plane delays due to mechanical issues and weather (yes, I am seeing this as a positive now...not so much at the time and hence why my schedule has been all screwed up for a week)
Being happy to be home
Snuggling with my hubby and my kitties.
My bed...after sleeping on an air mattress or a couch for five days crawling into my own bed was heavenly!!
Spending a low key weekend at home with my hubby.  We watched Season 4 of True blood...SO good.
Work is a bit crazy right now but I would rather be busy than the alternative.
This weekend hubby and I are going back to the place where we met for the 25 anniversary of the "barn" also known as the theatre on our college campus where we met.
We are both looking forward to going back to see how our little college has changed, see people who we spent insane amounts of time with while rehearsing and putting together sets, and reminisce about how much it all meant to each of us.
The past couple of weeks have been very introspective for me and I am loving being able to go back in time to see who I was and how the individual pieces of the puzzle have fit together to help me become the person I am today.
I have said often, I am the sum of my experiences, both good and bad and the reflection and perspective I have been able to gain over the last few weeks is priceless.  I promise a better post about it once this weekend is over...
I am sending positive thoughts like shooting stars across the midnight blue sky to all of you.  I miss you all and hope you are well..

Saturday, June 2, 2012

trip away

Ever gone on one of those trips where you knew you needed something...
Your soul renewed
Peace regained
A connection with you past?
Last weekend was that trip for me.
I spent time in  a place that was so much a part of me that I didn't even realize I missed it
Spent time with people, some who I talk to all the time and others who I haven't spoken to in years.
I went to places that just felt....right.
I laughed until I cried
I cried until I laughed
I sat in silence, just able to soak in the energy that flowed around me
Reminisced about old times
Caught up on people's lives
Realized that roots run deeper than I could imagine.
Drove post my old house
Through my old neighborhood
Went to the places we frequented as children.
I realized that that place is my foundation, my rock and while things never change- they  have altered my very core.
The air smelled different,
the food was of my past
every corner had a memory.
Kids have grown,
neighbors moved away
But if you listened closely, you could hear laughter on every breeze, memories in every blade of grass.
You could hear the past swirl around you,
You could breath in the love, support and innocence of a different time.
I haven't lived there in sixteen years,
and will never live their again
But it is nice to know that the roots of what makes me who I am are still strong.
I was able to feed them, nurture them and walk away knowing the foundation is solid.

Love and hugs to you all!!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Heading South!!

I am leaving on a jet plane...
going to one of my favorite places in the world!!


Going to visit some of my favorite people!

I'll be back on Monday!!
Hope that you all have a weekend full of love, fun, cookouts and lots of smiles!!
Love and hugs!